Mother’s Day is one of those days that as soon as you open social media platforms you are showered with mother’s day messages. If you spend the day scrolling through platforms such as Facebook and Instagram, you will see friends and family members posting tributes to their mothers including messages such as “you are the best mum ever” and “I am who I am today because of you mum”. Some people feel comfortable to share their love towards their mother on this special day dedicated to motherhood. Their way of doing this is to share pictures of memories they have with their mother and write a few loving words. However, others do not like to share such personal moments and feelings on social media and prefer to tell their mother how much she means to them in person only.
I tend to be one of the latter, where on Mother’s Day, I do not like to post pictures and messages to my mum on social media. I tell her in person and feel that this enough to show her how much I love her and that I appreciate everything she does for me. However, recently I had a conversation with a mother which made me look at social media on Mother’s day from a different perspective. This mother shared with me that her children do not post on Mother’s Day and although she knows that they love her, she feels sorry that on this day she sees most of her friends’ children posting and her kids do not.
This thought made me reflect; if Mother’s Day is meant to be about celebrating our mum, should I be more focused on how I feel about posting on social media or how she feels if I post or do not post? I think there isn’t a right or wrong answer for this question. On one hand you want to be comfortable to post what feels right for you, but on the other hand, if posting means something special to your mum and ultimately it is not a big deal for you to do so, then perhaps you just go ahead and do it. No matter what you decide to do on Mother’s Day, maybe you can have an open discussion and communicate your intentions. If you do not post and she is prepared for this, she will not stay expecting a post from you and is likely to feel less disappointed that you didn’t.
Whilst social media has become another way to express our thoughts and emotions, it doesn’t have to be the ultimate way to show our love towards a person. Trust your gut feeling; if you don’t mind posting personal pictures and messages on Mother’s Day, and your mum appreciates this, then go for it as it will probably make her happy. If for both of you this is not a big deal, then just share your wishes in person.
Dr Marilyn Muscat is registered as an Educational Psychologist with the Health and Care Professions Council in the United Kingdom where she trained. She works with children, adolescents and their families to understand more about educational, social and emotional well-being concerns that they have and to help them improve upon their difficulties. She can be contacted on marilyn@willingness.com.mt or call us on 79291817.