Infertility is usually defined as having no pregnancy after a year of unprotected regular intercourse.
Sometimes you may feel this hidden or open feeling of anger toward your partner with infertility problems. On the other hand, the partner with infertility issues may feel guilty and depressed. The key to deal with these feelings which are by the way quite normal, is to communicate openly about all the thoughts and feelings that you are experiencing.
What to do?!
- Never self-diagnose yourself or your partner as infertile.
- Visit professionals and seek help from different experts such as gynecologists and infertility specialists.
- Try to be patient, since you need to go through different examinations which can be frustrating, and it may take some time. Sadly, in 10% of the cases no causes will be identified (unexplained infertility) which can be exhausting, and you may also feel disappointed. It is less stressful when you are on this journey with your partner and deal with all the frustration together.
Try to be open to different options. The first thing is to change lifestyle. Simple things such as quitting smoking, drinking, or checking the medication that you are taking at the time can make a huge difference.
It is beneficial to remember that there are still so many options for you to have a baby and due to circumstances, you can go with the most convenient one. Different option can be:
- Fertility Drugs
- IVF (In vitro fertilisation)
- Medical Procedures for Infertility
- Sperm, Egg or Embryo Donation
- Surrogacy
- Adoption
Treat sex as an intimate act not as an assignment!
Sex that is only happening for the purpose of conceiving might affect your satisfaction in your relationship and even cause some sexual dysfunctions, since it is really stressful. During examinations and treatment, keep the intimacy and consider sex as “making love”, instead of a duty or tool to have baby! So always keep it romantic!
Myth
Infertility is typically the woman’s fault → It is interesting to know that in the 40% of cases the problem would be in female, 40% of cases in male ad 10% in both.
The good news!
What to do with all the psychological effects of this condition and the frustration?
The Mindfulness Based Program for Infertility (MBPI) is an intervention designed for women dealing with infertility. This program has been proven to be helpful with reduction in depressive symptoms, shame, anxiety, pain, well-being, quality of life, and interpersonal functioning. Additionally, there are some biological outcomes. It is interesting to mention that this MBPI will result in better physiological response to ongoing assisted reproductive technology, pregnancy, live birth, and change in biochemical markers of stress.
Here is an app designed for you!
The good news is that Based on the MBPI, a mindfulness app is developed for infertile patients; The MindfulSpot. This app is offering the chance of practicing mindfulness in a comfortable and accessible way. It also includes useful information regarding specific aspects of the emotional impact of infertility.
If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.
Marziyeh Salehi is working as an intern within the Willingness team. She is also pursuing her master’s in Clinical Psychosexology at Sapienza University, Rome. Marziyeh’s research interests are couples, relationship, and trauma.
References
Monteiro, B., Galhardo, A., Cunha, M., Couto, M., Fonseca, F., & Carvalho, L. (2016). MindfulSpot: A mindfulness mobile app for people dealing with infertility. European Psychiatry. Volume 33, Supplement, March 2016, Pages S609-S610
Pasch, L., & Sullivan, K. (2016). Stress and coping in couples facing infertility. DOI: 10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.07.004. PMID: 28813283
Patel, A., Sharma, P.S.V.N., Kumar, P. (2020). Application of Mindfulness-Based Psychological Interventions in Infertility. 13(1): 3–21. doi: 10.4103/jhrs.JHRS_51_19 PMCID: PMC7295259. PMID: 32577063