Helping Loved Ones Understand Your Trauma

Trauma can be an overwhelming experience that affects how you navigate life. When you’re dealing with the aftermath of trauma, it’s common to feel misunderstood or isolated, even by those closest to you. Helping your loved ones understand your trauma is a crucial step in building a supportive network that aids in your healing. While this process can be challenging, there are ways to foster understanding and compassion among those who care about you.

Understand your trauma

Before you can help others understand your trauma, it’s essential to gain a deeper understanding of it yourself. This self-awareness can empower you to communicate your experiences more clearly and confidently. In the book The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, he explains that trauma is not just a psychological issue but one that affects the body as well. Van der Kolk emphasises that understanding how trauma impacts both your mind and body is crucial for healing. By recognising the physical and emotional effects of trauma, you can better articulate your needs to your loved ones.

How to help your loved ones understand

One of the most effective ways to help your loved ones understand your trauma is through open and honest communication. It can be challenging to talk about your experiences, but sharing what you feel comfortable with can help others gain insight into what you’re going through. It is important to convey that trauma can affect how you react to stress, engage in relationships, and perceive the world around you. By explaining these impacts, you help your loved ones understand that your responses are shaped by past experiences, not a reflection of your feelings towards them.

Setting boundaries is a crucial part of managing your trauma and maintaining healthy relationships. It’s okay to tell your loved ones what you’re not ready to discuss or what topics are off-limits. Communicating your boundaries clearly and respectfully allows your loved ones to support you in comfortable ways.

Sometimes, your loved ones may not understand trauma simply because they lack knowledge about it. Providing them with resources can be an effective way to bridge this gap. You might suggest they read books or articles that explain how trauma affects mental and physical health. Education can help dispel myths and misconceptions about trauma, fostering a more supportive and empathetic environment. 

Conclusion

Healing from trauma often requires professional support, and involving your loved ones in this process can be beneficial. Attending therapy sessions or participating in support groups can provide a space where you and your loved ones can learn and grow. Van der Kolk highlights the role of supportive relationships in the healing process, noting that feeling connected to others is vital for overcoming trauma. Working through trauma with the support of loved ones can strengthen your bonds and create a more understanding and nurturing environment.

Helping your loved ones understand your trauma is an important step in your healing journey. By understanding your own trauma, communicating openly, setting boundaries, educating your loved ones, and seeking support together, you can foster a supportive network that aids in your recovery.

If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.

Elena Marinopoulou is a Behaviour Analyst with the Willingness Team. She works with children and adults and has a strong interest in parent training, sleep and feeding issues emerging during childhood, as well as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.

References

• Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Penguin Books.