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It is not uncommon for parents to encounter hard times, especially with unruly children. Times become more testing when the children grow up. It is for this reason that parents must make the right investments and equip themselves with the right habits, skills and knowledge. It is a complicated topic. For this reason I will present a series of blogs which aim to put you on the right track.

Shouting is not necessarily the answer

I want to attack this technique immediately. Many believe that shouting or smacking may be the answer. Make no mistake, it might give you the control you are looking for, but not the result you intend. I am certain that many of you have heard the myth that hitting children builds character. Some may present themselves as adjusted adults, and attribute it to the more physical parenting they experienced when they were young. But know this, children grow up and flourish sometimes, not because of abuse, but despite the abuse.

What you are looking for is communication, compliance and respect. Shouting and hitting only gives you fear and obedience under duress. The child learns only that he must behave to avoid painful consequences. Good communication teaches more profound lessons. First, there is an adequate manner to discuss issues. Second, authority should be respected not feared. In a calm and responsible conversation, children also receive the opportunity to learn more about the behaviours which they must change and thus become aware of why they should stop.

 

– steve@willingness.com.mt