Creative Ways to Help Children Express Anger Safely

When we become upset about something, we need time to process the emotions we experience. One of our emotions could be anger, a natural part of life for everyone, including children. However, children, unlike adults, might need help when it comes to expressing their anger; otherwise, they might end up throwing a tantrum, screaming, or becoming physically violent against others.

Things to do to help your child express their anger safely

Although it could be challenging, some ways can help your child express their anger safely. The following help children respond to the emotions and environment around them with more control and skill:

1. Make it normal to talk about feelings.

Ideally, feelings are often discussed by talking about them, discussing what they feel like, and coming up with scenarios of when you might feel that way. This paves the way for a strong emotional vocabulary that allows children to handle their emotions better and convey that it’s fine to feel what they are feeling.

2. Create an anger thermometer.

This can help children connect their feelings and their coping skills. They can pick three different colours depending on the size of their anger and what it looks like when they are angry. If they struggle to identify how they behaved when they were enraged, you can tell them what you noticed the last time you saw them get angry. Once the behaviours are elicited, they can identify the coping skills they can use to calm down at each level of anger, for instance, getting a drink of water, taking deep breaths, shredding paper, or taking a break.

Other Methods to Consider

3. Role-play

Through role-plays, children can explore things that annoy them, like being told to stop doing something or perform an activity that doesn’t factor into their plan despite being good for them. Example: pretend that the child is asked to clean their room, but they lose their cool, and start lashing out. They could, for instance, practice saying ‘stop’ and talk through how they will get things done. Role-plays also enable children to work through different scenarios that typically lead to anger and think of more appropriate responses.

4. Provide a calm-down area.

Most of the time, when children experience big feelings, they destroy items around them, ripping books, throwing toys, etc. So setting up a safe spot, at home and at school, so children can go to relax and use calm-down techniques helping them get themselves back on track privately. This area can include colouring books, crayons, books, fidgets, visual timers, and bean bags.

Conclusioin

Ultimately, parents and guardians need to keep themselves calm, as staying calm with angry children is not that easy. However, parents and guardians need to learn this, as they need to get themselves calm before helping their children. Self-talk, taking deep breaths, grounding techniques, and finding a support system are among the best ways to stay calm.

If you think you can benefit from professional support on this issue, you can reach out here.

Johanna Cutajar is a Master in Counselling graduate from the University of Malta. She works with children and adolescents as a counsellor within the education sector on a variety of issues, including relationship issues, trauma, bereavement, transitions, and general mental health.

References

Sutton, J. (2021). Anger Management for Kids: 14 Best Activities and Worksheets. Retrieved from https://positivepsychology.com/anger-management-kids/