The following are some tips that can help parents help their children with exam periods. These apply to neurodiverse children as well as neurotypical ones. Of course, this is not a definite guide, but the essence of it is to learn more about what your child needs as an individual.
Tips to help children with exam periods
- Understand your child or teen
Fostering a healthy environment can be subjective to each individual, which is why open communication is crucial. Whether with children or teenagers, it is important that the parent models open, direct communication. It is also important to create an environment whereby children can learn to communicate their needs openly.
This part will be easier if this is consistent in other areas as well.
Understanding your child or teen’s character can go a long way. This will give a guide as to what is usual and not usual behaviour as well. It is important to keep in mind that children and teenagers often have a lot of anxieties regarding school duties even if they might not show them.
Understanding your child’s unique personality and allowing them to reveal their true selves can help you discover how best to support them. Not everybody needs the same help. Even more complicated, children (and even adults) might need different kinds of support at different life stages or even with different tasks.
Furthermore, by understanding your child’s strengths and weaknesses, you can learn to be more in tune with their needs. You can see whether they need to be acknowledged for their efforts or whether they need more support and perhaps even structure. Knowing what they find most challenging can also help the child feel seen without feeling ashamed about it.
- Are they putting too much pressure on themselves?
This was mentioned in the above point. Children often do put pressure on themselves for various reasons. Not to disappoint their parents and teachers – and, at later stages, even peers. To not feel ashamed of their ‘shortcomings’. To do things in a ‘perfect’ way.
Of course, these are just some examples. Outward behaviour could reflect anxiety, not paying attention or appearing uninterested or, at times, even defiant and difficulty in speaking about a challenge they are facing, to name a few.
This is also why understanding the child and their struggles is important. Firstly to avoid putting excess pressure (or sometimes even our own anxieties) on the child and secondly to help the child overcome their fears.
- Is there anything else you can do to help?
While doing this is already a lot, is there anything else you can do? Being present and motivating and praising the child when they do things right can go a long way. This is as important as correcting mistakes and gently redirecting undesired behaviours and outcomes. It makes a big difference if the child does not just see the frustration of their parents when they make mistakes.
Helping them structure their time wisely is beneficial. As they get older, the child can be given more reins in how they want to structure their time. When it comes to time structuring, it is not just about what to study and when and how to take breaks but also about planning some leisure activities.
If some of these activities are together, it can help further build your relationship with your child or teen.
- What about the physical environment?
An adequate, well-lit and clean environment is essential for studying. More often than not, having a designated room or space can help the child or teen associate it with studying. It can help to change their mindset and focus on tasks that need to be done. It is important that there is no noise or distractions in this space.
If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.
Jessica Saliba Thorne is a Gestalt psychotherapist. She has experience within the mental health field and sees adults with mental health difficulties, relationship issues and trauma at Willingness.