Conflict and a difference in opinion is normal in any relationship, what we need to keep in mind is how we try to resolve them and learn how to compromise. In the next two blogs I will identify 10 ways to do that.
- Stay with the issue you’re discussing. Bringing up the past and past issues which you had been meaning to talk about, is not helpful at this stage.
- Don’t pick at insignificant information. There is no need to dwell on whether you forgot to pick up the shopping on Monday or Tuesday, the main issue is that you forgot.
- Use I statements. When talking to your partner try not to point blame and take responsibilities for your own feelings, for example “I am feeling angry at this behavior”, rather than “YOU make me feel angry when….”
- Don’t use words such as never and always. The statements using those words are usually not true and you will be met with an answer back proving you wrong.
- Focus on your own opinions and don’t be tempted to bring in other people’s opinions such as friends and family members.
In the next blog we will continue with the last 5 ways to help resolve a conflict between a couple.
Dana Scicluna Azar is a relationship and sex advisor at willingness. She offers therapy to both individuals and couples. She can be contacted on dana@willingness.com.mt.