As we saw in the previous blog, in order to try and compromise in a relationship and resolve a conflict, it’s important to use I statements, not generalize with word such as never and always and focus on the real issue at hand. Let’s continue with the list:
- Physical presence and positioning will help. If you’re pacing around the room huffing and puffing it will be more difficult to get to any solution. Sit down and try to remember to breathe
- Don’t use derogatory words towards your partner. Calling them lazy or stupid won’t help get your point across and can be abusive.
- Always be aware of your feelings and share them openly and honestly. Your partner is not a mind reader and cannot figure what’s inside your head
- Try not to take over the whole conversation. Sometimes one partner is better able to talk and goes into a monologue, not letting the other partner a chance to say their point of view.
- It’s okay to have a safe word. Agree from the start what that safe word is, and if one or both partners are feeling overwhelmed you can use that word to stop the conversation and take a break.
Always remember that no one should win an argument, but you both can lose the relationship you have if you don’t try to resolve the issue you are having.
Dana Scicluna Azar is a relationship and sex advisor at willingness. She offers therapy to both individuals and couples. She can be contacted on dana@willingness.com.mt.