Sometimes the parent-child relationship is overloaded, the child is uncooperative and the parents are about to lose their poise. A possible solution to this situation is a reflection time– this is a time when  both parties can separate for a while and calm down, giving enough space to them meet each other once more with a level head.  The creation of good positive parenting techniques has great momentum to fulfill the quest of replacing inappropriate or harmful parenting habits with methods which are both effective and humane.  Reflection time can be such a technique. The child is sent off for a short time and asked to stay there alone. The attention is completely taken away and there is some space to reflect for the parents as well as the child. As a largely symbolic non-violent parenting style, the reflection time tells the child that his or her current behavior is unacceptable and won’t be tolerated. However, reflection time have rules. Sending your child off for two hours crosses the border of positivity. The rule to follow when using reflection time is one minute for every year of age. So, say you are sending your six year old for a six minute timeout.

If the child calms down, you will remove him or her from the marked-off environment and commend them for the now quiet behavior. It is quite important to pay him or her the deserved attention that a child needs if you want to achieve a positive effect on your educational measures. You don´t believe it? Have a go!


– Laura Remmel is a Masters student at the University of the German Armed Forces in Munich, Germany. She completed her Bachelor of Science (B.Sc.) in January 2016. She is interesting in furthering her studies is psychotherapy, PTSD and military psychology. She is participating in a summer internship programme at