A lot of people may feel confused or unsettled when they have dreams about an ex-partner. This is particularly the case if the relationship did not end on a good note, as well as if the dreams about this person are occurring on a more regular basis. However, dreaming about a former partner is actually considered normal and healthy. You may be wondering why you are having dreams about a person whom you no longer share a relationship with. Is it because they miss you? Is it because you want them back?

It is important to note that dreams are rarely literal, but are often symbolic.

Therefore, dreaming about an ex could be representing other situations that are happening in your life. We tend to dream about thoughts, feelings, reflections and events that we might have experienced throughout the day. On another note, there may be some underlying reasons as to why you may be having such dreams. These may include having unresolved feelings about the person or the relationship, a lack of closure from the relationship ending, or you may be dealing with past trauma from that particular relationship. 

On a surface level, you might think that you are over your ex and that everything is fine.

However, your subconscious may be trying to tell you otherwise. Unresolved feelings may manifest in your dreams as a way for you to address such feelings in your waking life. Perhaps you never got the closure that you needed in order to be able to move on from that particular relationship, and now you find yourself dreaming about your former partner. In this case, the dreams may be a way of your subconscious helping you gain that closure, process how you’re feeling about the breakup, and heal. It could also be that you still carry some old wounds from that relationship, especially if the breakup was traumatic or you were a victim of abuse in that relationship. In this case, the dreams could be a trauma response because you’re still trying to come to terms with what happened in that relationship.

Dreaming about your ex could also signify that you miss that person and want them back in your life.

Hence, dreaming about them can be a way for you to stay connected to them. However, before picking up that phone and sending them a text, you may want to think things over and consider whether you actually want to get back together with an ex. They are an ex for a reason, and it would be good to spend some time reflecting on the reasons why you had broken up in the first place. 

Having dreams about your ex can also be helping you to move forward in your life.

Moving on after a breakup is important in order for you to not end up feeling stuck. Your dreams may be symbolising the need for inner peace in order to be able to heal from the breakup. On a similar note, dreaming about your ex may signify your wish to seek change by adopting new habits in your routine, as a way to break away from old patterns. Finally, dreams about your ex could simply be a sign that you are indeed moving on from this relationship breakup. The dreams could be symbolising that you have accepted the situation, and could therefore be representing a new beginning for you. 

Pamela Borg is a counsellor who enjoys working therapeutically with adults experiencing various issues. These include general mental health and wellbeing, gender, sexuality, relationship issues.  

If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.


Gulotta, J. (2021). Why Do I Keep Dreaming About My Ex? 21 Reasons & What They Mean. Retrieved from: https://www.choosingtherapy.com/why-do-i-keep-dreaming-about-my-ex/

Jaehnig, J. (2021). Your Subconscious: Are You Dreaming About An Ex? Retrieved from: https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/relations/why-do-i-keep-dreaming-about-my-ex/

Kassel, G. (2020). 38 Reasons Why You Keep Dreaming About Your Ex — and What to Do Next. Retrieved from: https://www.healthline.com/health/why-do-i-keep-dreaming-about-my-ex