Why Can’t You Remember Parts of Your Childhood?

Understanding Memory Retention in Toddlers and Childhood

Having limited early memories is a normal developmental process known in psychology as “childhood amnesia” or infantile amnesia. This phenomenon describes the common difficulty people have in recalling events from early childhood years. It typically refers to the inability to remember experiences occurring before the age of three. During this stage, the brain is still developing systems needed to retain long-term episodic memories. Key areas like the hippocampus and prefrontal cortex are not yet fully mature in infants. Additionally, language skills and a sense of self—both vital for memory—are not fully formed. As a result, early experiences often fade without becoming part of our autobiographical memory.

How Infant Memory Develops

Patricia J. Bauer explains that memory gaps result from the interaction of memory formation and memory retention processes. Infants and babies are able to form memories, but they lack the capacity to retain them long-term. Essential systems for memory retention, such as language development and identity, are still immature in early years. Brain structures like the hippocampus, crucial for memory consolidation, have not yet reached full functionality during infancy. These biological limitations explain why early memories are difficult to access or completely forgotten later in life.

Exploring Memory Retention in Toddlers and Development

Do babies and infants have memories at all? Not exactly. They cannot retain explicit memories like storytelling or facts. However, they do form emotional memories through sensory-based lived experiences. The limbic system helps babies link emotions with certain events. They may feel safety without remembering the specific comforting moment. A baby remembers comfort through sensations, not detailed mental images. Emotional memory shapes relationships and nervous system responses over time. This type of memory influences early emotional and social development.

How Memory Retention in Toddlers Affects Development

Sometimes, memory gaps extend beyond age four because trauma alters how the brain develops and stores early memories. In The Body Keeps the Score, van der Kolk explains trauma memories form as scattered sensations, emotions, and bodily reactions. Rather than creating coherent stories, the brain encodes traumatic events in fragmented ways that bypass typical memory systems. Though not consciously recalled, these memory fragments still influence how people think, react emotionally, and relate to those around them.

Effects of Early Trauma

Extreme stress can interfere with how the brain stores and processes long-term childhood memories. Research shows that trauma may cause the hippocampus to temporarily shut down or function less effectively. When this happens, explicit memories may become inaccessible but still affect thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. A 1996 study on dissociative amnesia highlighted how abuse disrupts memory systems in developing children. Joseph (2003) found traumatised children often recall first memories much later than their non-traumatised peers. This supports the idea that trauma can significantly widen the normal window of childhood amnesia.

Understanding Childhood Memory Gaps

It is important to remember that not all memory gaps are necessarily linked to trauma. Natural brain development can also lead to forgotten experiences from early childhood and infancy stages. Children raised in emotionally reserved families may experience fewer reinforced memories of their early life. Without frequent discussions about past events, memory consolidation becomes more difficult for developing minds. These individuals may simply lack opportunities to revisit and anchor their formative experiences deeply. Recognising this distinction is crucial before assuming memory gaps automatically indicate emotional or psychological harm.

Memory Retention in Toddlers: Written by Elena Marinopoulou

If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.

Elena Marinopoulou is a Behaviour Analyst with the Willingness Team. She works with children and adults and has a strong interest in parent training, sleep and feeding issues emerging during childhood, as well as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.

References

Bauer, P. J. (2015). A complementary processes account of the development of childhood amnesia and a personal past. Psychological Review, 122(2), 204–231. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0038939

Bremner, J. D., Krystal, J. H., Charney, D. S., & Southwick, S. M. (1996). Neural mechanisms in dissociative amnesia for childhood abuse: Relevance to the current controversy surrounding the “false memory syndrome.” The American Journal of Psychiatry, 153(7 Suppl), 71–82. https://doi.org/10.1176/ajp.153.7.71

Joseph, R. (2003). Emotional trauma and childhood amnesia. Consciousness and Emotion, 4(2), 205–230. https://doi.org/10.1075/ce.4.2.02jos

van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.