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In the first part of this blog, I wrote about how the level of trust in a relationship is impacted by how confident we are in our own judgement of others. I discussed how our past experiences with trust and security in relationships might also impact how we perceive trust in our current relationships; and the importance of being aware of these.

In this part of the blog, I will discuss some ideas of how to work towards building a stronger sense of trust and security within the relationship.

  • Invest in enjoying each other’s company

The more a couple invests in strengthening their connection and closeness, the less likely the couple will feel anxious about their relationship and the other partner’s actions. Having moments of positive connections, showing one other how they are enjoying each other’s company, having fun together, are all aspects that increase the level of happiness and satisfaction with the relationship.

  • Do not sweep concerns under the rug

If your partner acted in a way that concerned you or left you feeling insecure, it might help to bring this up and discuss it with them. It is sometimes the case that when a worry is not discussed, the worried person will form their own idea of what could have happened, and this is not always correct. This could create unnecessary anxiety, anger or resentment in the relationship, that may impact the relationship immediately or even further down the line. Discussing concerns with your partner might provide you with a completely different understanding of what happened. If your partner was also now aware that you will be unhappy with their actions, or that you will feel betrayed by what they did, discussing this will provide you both with the opportunity to talk about your expectations of one another.

  • Consider that your partner may have good intentions but has possibly made a mistake

Unless you have reason to mistrust your partner, trust that they have good intentions. Even when your partner disappoints you or lets you down, consider the possibility that they may have made a mistake and that they did not intend to cause you pain. Sometimes pain in relationships is caused out of not knowing any better.  

Rebecca Cassar is a Family Therapist practicing the Systemic Approach. She specializes in offering therapy to families, couples and individuals who are experiencing distress in their relationships. She can be contacted on rebecca@willingness.com.mt or call us on 79291817.