The concept of date nights is a popular way for couples to dedicate time and space that would generally exclusively focus on the couple relationship and the connection with the partner or spouse. This blog is written for those of you who are considering having date nights with your partner or spouse, but are concerned about a lack of ideas around what you can talk about. Inspired by Gottman, Gottman, Abrams, and Abrams (2019)’s book, Eight Dates, in this blog I will share three themes that can support you in generating interesting and meaningful conversations with your partner or spouse.

  • The things we cherish

This could be one of the themes that you can explore during your date night. You can take some time to list down some of the qualities and things that you really cherish in your partner. Some examples are: You understand my sense of humor. Or; You hug me every day before you go to work. You can read these to each other and have a chat about what it feels like for you to discover what your partner or spouse cherishes.

  • Fun and adventure

Playfulness and fun are important aspects in a relationship. What are some activities that you really enjoy doing with the other person? Acknowledge the things that you both have fun doing together. Also talk about the differences in what you enjoy; these are also very important. When it comes to the differences in the things that you find fun, talk about how you can manage these and how you can respect each other’s different ideas of what you enjoy doing.

  • Your dreams and passions

Another theme for your date night could be your dreams and passions. You can talk about the things you aspired for when you were still a child, and how these dreams developed and changed as you grew older. Another aspect of this theme can be how you would like to honor one another’s dreams and passions. Perhaps you can also take some time to think about the things that your partner did to support you in reaching your dreams so far, and thank each other for these.

Rebecca Cassar is a Family Therapist practicing the Systemic Approach. She specializes in offering therapy to families, couples and individuals who are experiencing distress in their relationships. She can be contacted on or call us on 79291817.


Gottman, J., Gottman, J., Abrams, R., & Abrams, D. (2019). Eight Dates: To keep your relationship happy, thriving and lasting.