Let’s face it: break-ups suck. Big time. It’s never easy ending a relationship with someone you spent a chunk of your life with. But unfortunately, break-ups are a part of life and something that a lot of us will need to go through at some point or another. This article will give you some tips about what you may want to do if you are considering breaking up with your long-term partner, as well as some tips to help you navigate your break up in a way that can support you during this difficult time.
Why did it have to end?
There may be a multitude of reasons why a relationship has to end. Perhaps you became aware of some issues in your relationship that you tried addressing to no avail, and you have decided that you need to end the relationship. Firstly, consider that this is no easy step. However, deciding to end things with your partner sooner rather than later will save you a lot of heartbreak further down the line.
Can break-ups be smooth?
There is no specific script to follow when breaking up with a partner, however there are some general guidelines that may be good to follow, in order to try and make the breakup as smooth as possible. A lot of it boils down to communication. It is in everyone’s best interest to try and be honest about how you are feeling and what has led to the breakup. In doing so, you might want to keep the list short, highlighting the main issues and avoiding any unnecessary blame towards your partner. It may help to write down some of your thoughts to help you prepare for this conversation.
Break-ups are Painful
Although you want to try and make the breakup as painless as possible for your partner, remember that your first priority is supporting yourself. Think about the reasons why this relationship is not working out and stick to your decision. Give them the space that they need to process what you have just told them, and be prepared for them to ask questions. In the meantime, think about what you need to help support you through this breakup. It may help to surround yourself with some family and friends for some emotional support during this difficult time.
Take everything into consideration
You may also need to make other added considerations, especially if you live together with your partner, or if you have children or pets together. Another point to add is the grief that comes with ending the relationship, even if it was your own choice to end it. You will probably still go through this experience as a loss, so it is a good idea to engage in some good self-care practices to support you through this breakup. This might be a good time to explore some new hobbies, as well as take care of your physical and mental health.
Talking to a professional to help you cope with the breakup might be a good idea as well, should you feel the need to do so. Whatever might help you to cope with the situation, it is always best to deal with your emotions instead of avoiding them.
If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.
Pamela Borg is a counsellor who enjoys working therapeutically with adults experiencing various issues. These include general mental health and wellbeing, gender, sexuality, relationship issues.
References:
Raypole, C. (2020). How to Break Up With Someone You Live With. Retrieved from: https://www.healthline.com/health/relationships/how-to-break-up-with-someone-you-live-with
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