When we’re in a relationship, sex is always at the forefront or at the back of our minds. Whether there’s a lot of it happening or if none at all, it’s always there.
It’s sometimes assumed that we all want to have sex all the time, and that if our partner doesn’t, something must be terribly wrong. Hollywood shows in the likes of Sex and the City and Mistresses are partly to blame here. They are, however, entirely fiction and loosely based on reality at best.
There’s nothing wrong with a low sex drive. Not everyone is interested in sex all the time or even very often. Some are not interested in sex at all, or only very rarely. Even if you and your partner once had a passionate sex life that suddenly hit an all-time low, it is not necessarily a cause for concern.
While a low-libido might reflect a bigger problem within the relationship, low-sexual arousal could also be attributed to external stresses in your partner’s life, anxiety or depression. Sometimes it could simply be exhaustion from a hectic day to day routine, or not having enough relaxing time together for a mood to develop.
Generally, unless other parts of the relationship are also suffering, there is no need to fret over dry-spells in a relationship. Sex-drives fluctuate, and while sex is an important part of most relationships, especially if your romantic-intimacy is still strong. Be patient, supportive, and try to synchronise your schedule and sleeping-patterns more.

– Matthew Bartolo is a counsellor specialising in Sex & Relationships. He offers counselling to both individuals and couples, and runs the sex education services within Willingness. He can be contacted on matthew@willingness.com.mt.