Most of the time, being single, especially after a breakup, is associated with loneliness, particularly if you used to live together with your ex-partner. Therefore, the tendency is to seek love, affection, and attention from other people and other things rather than learning to love ourselves.
For some, it might help to be with someone else to move on and get over the loss following a breakup, especially for those who struggle to be on their own. Not everyone finds it easy to be on their own and live with their own company, even more so in cases of unexpected and sudden breakups. Nonetheless, staying single after a break-up can be the best medicine for a broken heart as it can empower you to feel better about yourself and, over time, the bitter feelings about your past relationship can disappear.
The time you stay single after a break up is an opportunity to rediscover yourself and what is important to you as you will get more time for yourself. Therefore, during this time, you can consider finding new hobbies or investing time in the existing ones. Self-care activities can also be easily incorporated into your routine. These can include going out on weekends and treating yourself, eating at your favourite restaurant alone, or just chilling somewhere by yourself.
This would be all about self-love and taking yourself on dates. More time on your hands also makes it easier for you to pursue your goals and focus on your career whilst creating concrete plans and executing them. A breakup can also serve as an opportunity to stress yourself less and sleep more as you put your phone away.
Develop Emotional Intelligence
The time following a break-up can also teach you how to be independent and emotionally intelligent. The chance is that if you feel lonely on your own, you will also feel lonely and disconnected when in a relationship. This is especially true because a relationship doesn’t always fill a void, completes you, or makes you feel happy. This is the right time to work on any unresolved issues and get rid of your insecurities whilst feeling happy with yourself. During this time you will have the opportunity to feel happy with yourself without the need for someone else to complement your life and make you feel happy and secure.
Prepare for the Next Chapter
This can also be a time that allows you to prepare for the next relationship you get into. In reality, one doesn’t only get love from a romantic partner as you can also be loved by friends and family. Rather than seeking to be in another romantic relationship, you can enjoy your alone time and work on yourself until you find your forever person. In the long run, staying single following a breakup can be very empowering as you will be proud of your ability to be by yourself without the need to be with someone else to fill up your space.
Finally, no matter what life throws at you, seek to be mindful and serene by trying to understand what makes you happy at the end of the day.
If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.
Johanna Cutajar is a Master in Counselling graduate from the University of Malta. She works with children and adolescents as a counsellor within the education sector on a variety of issues including relationship issues, trauma, bereavement, transitions, and general mental health.
Binas, M. (2019). 8 Reasons Why You Should Stay Single for a While After a Breakup. Retrieved from https://thoughtcatalog.com/maria-binas/2019/08/8-reasons-why-you-should-stay-single-for-a-while-after-a-breakup/
Newbold, M. (2019). Adjusting to Living Alone After a Breakup. Retrieved from https://wearesololiving.com/living-alone-after-a-break-up/#:~:text=Being%20alone%20after%20a%20breakup,on%20the%20road%20to%20recovery.