An emotionally abusive husband is one who controls his wife both from a financial as well as a social aspect. Moreover, other signs of emotional abuse include public humiliation and extreme jealousy leading to possessiveness. As a result, the spouse is usually blamed and set to believe that she deserves to be treated this way, thus resulting in intimidating behaviour (Christopher, 2021). It is often hard for one to make the decision of separating from an emotionally abusive partner, partly because of this belief that they are to blame for their partners’ behaviour. Thus one needs to build courage in order to make this decision. Below, one finds 6 steps which are beneficial for one who is considering separating from an emotionally abusive husband. 

  1. The first thing one needs to consider when separating from an emotionally abusive husband are the logistics of things. These include housing arrangements, children and finances. It needs to be a well-thought process in order to have a plan on what to do and where to go (Marni Feuerman, 2021). 
  2. Freedom and independence is great, however one needs to ensure that this is realistic. Therefore, one might need to see whether it is financially possible to move away from the emotionally abusive partner. If not, one might need to consider working on becoming independent by finding a job and becoming financially stable (Marni Feuerman, 2021). 
  3. Assessing the situation is another important step which needs to be taken. If there is serious threat to one’s safety, then one needs to involve local authorities and proceed accordingly. Furthermore, it is common that the victim of the emotional abuse has kept things a secret even from closest family and friends. Nonetheless it is important to start confiding in loved ones in order to have an adequate support system (Marni Feuerman, 2021). 
  4. Seeking professional aid can help one have an impartial guide and thus ease the process of separation (Marni Feuerman, 2021).  
  5. Stopping unnecessary communication with one’s abusive husband is also ideal. The rationale behind this is that abusive husbands thrive on power which is easily obtained verbally (Marni Feuerman, 2021).  
  6. Following separation, it is important to get to know oneself. Focus on hobbies, create memories and do not rush into developing new relationships (Marni Feuerman, 2021). 

            Nevertheless, one must give oneself time to heal, to find oneself and to regain strength. It is not easy to learn and process that the person one loved/loves is causing harm. Moreover, in the case of an emotionally abusive husband, the wife is usually seeking validation and taking the decision to separate is not an easy decision; despite the knowledge that this might be the best way or only way forward for one’s psychological wellbeing (Cormier, 2017).

If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.

Yasmine Bonnici graduated in Nursing and also completed her Masters in Counselling. She has worked with victims of domestic violence, clients dealing with suicidal ideations, bereavement, separation and anxieties. She is currently working with Willingness Team as a counsellor seeing clients who would like to explore their own identity and deal with any surfacing issues.


Christopher, D. (2021, January 11). Signs of an emotionally abusive husband. Retrieved September 07, 2021, from

Cormier, T. (2017, June 19). What no one tells you about leaving an emotionally abusive relationship. Retrieved September 07, 2021, from

Marni Feuerman, L. (2021). 6 steps to leave a toxic relationship. Retrieved September 07, 2021, from