My daughter feels like she’s my son

One of the most important parental responsibilities involves balancing support with necessary boundaries for healthy growth. Sure, children and adolescents frequently challenge limits, testing rules and expectations established by their parents or guardians. However, parents must carefully distinguish between ordinary behaviours and expressions reflecting deeper aspects of identity and development. Ultimately, recognising when children assert gender identity allows parents to provide acceptance while maintaining essential structure and guidance.

The Critical Role of Family Support in Gender Identity

When it comes to gender identity, family support plays a crucial role in healthy development. Additionally, research consistently shows that unsupportive environments increase risks of depression among gender-diverse young people. Consequently, lack of acceptance often leads to risky behaviours that negatively impact overall health and wellbeing. Furthermore, rejection can escalate to homelessness and even suicide in extreme cases for vulnerable youth. Ultimately, supportive families provide stability, love, and protection, significantly improving outcomes for children exploring gender identity.

Kids Uniqueness in Exploring Gender Identity Through Play & Expression

At some point, every child experiments with behaviours traditionally associated with different genders, exploring identity through play. Additionally, girls may enjoy trucks while boys happily play with dolls, challenging conventional gender stereotypes from early childhood. Similarly, girls might dislike dresses while boys sometimes insist on wearing them proudly without hesitation or shame. Consequently, gender nonconforming behaviour alone does not automatically indicate that a child identifies as transgender necessarily. However, some children consistently identify as another gender from an early age, even as toddlers. Ultimately, recognising patterns of consistency and persistence helps parents understand whether gender identity exploration signifies something deeper.

Kids Uniqueness in Understanding Transgender Identity & Expression

Generally, experts determine a child may be transgender if they remain consistent, insistent, and persistent in their expressed identity. Additionally, occasional preferences for clothing or activities do not necessarily indicate transgender identity but rather gender nonconforming behaviour. Consequently, repeated and unwavering statements about being another gender over several months strongly suggest a transgender identity is likely. Furthermore, parents should pay close attention to patterns of insistence rather than isolated comments or behaviours from their child. Ultimately, understanding these distinctions enables families to provide the appropriate support, acceptance, and guidance throughout their child’s developmental journey.

How Parents Can Offer Support Through Their Child’s Journey

But how can you support your child through this process?

• Always use the child’s preferred gender pronouns and preferred names.
• Be your child’s advocate – call out transphobia when you see it and ask that others
  respect your child’s identity.
• Educate yourself about the concerns facing transgender youth and adults.
• Encourage your child to stand up for themselves when it is safe to do so.
• Assure your child that they have your unconditional love and support.

Final Thoughts on Kids Uniqueness

Ultimately, supporting yourself empowers you to better understand and guide your child’s journey. Additionally, seeking support networks provides strength, clarity, and reassurance throughout difficult moments. Furthermore, patience allows acceptance to grow naturally, making the process healthier for everyone involved. Importantly, children value parents’ willingness to listen, learn, and provide unconditional love consistently. Therefore, nurturing both yourself and your child strengthens resilience, deepens connection, and fosters mutual growth.

Kids Uniqueness: Written by Mel McElhatton

Mel McElhatton holds a degree in Social Work from the University of Malta. With Willingness, Mel does life coaching and is one of the facilitators in the IRL – In Real Life team. They are also the producer of the radio show Niddiskutu s-Sess. They can be contacted on mel@willingness.com.mt or call us on 79291817.

References

Olson, K. R., Durwood, L., DeMeules, M., & McLaughlin, K. A. (2016). Mental health of transgender children who are supported in their identities. Pediatrics, 137(3), e20153223.

Mallon, G. P., & DeCrescenzo, T. (2006). Transgender children and youth: a child welfare practice perspective. Child welfare, 85(2).