Having a baby brings along a number of different emotions and changes one’s lifestyle completely. As a matter of fact what one can deem to be a wonderful and exhilarating experience can also become exhausting and worrying (Sumner & Schlosberg, 2021). One’s relationship with one’s partner is one of the drastic changes that occurs following birth. Thus, this blog looks into the changes taking place in the relationship itself as well as means to maintain a healthy and intimate relationship with one’s partner.
1. Exhaustion
This is a common feeling that one experiences after giving birth. Exhaustion ranges from being physically exhausted from labor itself to emotionally exhausted with dealing with a newborn baby. Additionally lack of sleep and constant worries that pass through one’s mind continue to make one feel worn out. Hence, it is of utmost importance to communicate one’s needs with one’s partner and split the work accordingly so that the weight can be shared equally (Sumner & Schlosberg, 2021).
2. Limited sexual activity
Following birth, sex is prohibited for the first six weeks in order for proper healing to take place. Furthermore, the given time is simply an estimation as some might require more time to heal. Nevertheless, following this phase there are a number of challenges when it comes to engaging in sexual activity with a baby in the house. First and foremost, one needs to consider the state of exhaustion mentioned above. Secondly, some parents report being worried about their baby waking up, while having the baby sleeping in the matrimonial bed is another issue (Mauer, 2019). Therefore, in order for a couple to re-kindle their sex life it is advised that children sleep in a separate bed or room if old enough. Setting up the mood is also essential. This might entail in changing one’s outfit which might be stained with milk or even planning a date night (Sumner & Schlosberg, 2021).
No personal free time
It is well known that children are time consuming, however one might have underestimated the significance of this. When the ability to go to the bathroom, shower and eat in peace is considered to be a luxury, one might end up resenting one’s partner. This is especially true when the partner is still going to work and leading a presumably normal life (Mauer, 2019). Hence it is important for one to communicate one’s needs and for the partner to step up and share some of the responsibility (Sumner & Schlosberg, 2021).
In summary, parenthood means that one’s relationship is usually set aside as the helpless newborn takes over. Experienced changes can be overwhelming, nonetheless knowing that these feelings are normal make it somewhat better. In spite of everything it is important to keep in mind the importance of communication, finding time for one another and helping one another keep sane (Mauer, 2019). Furthermore, parents report that the rough patch following birth has indeed made their relationship stronger as couples were forced to communicate their needs and they became united as a family (Mauer, 2019).
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Yasmine Bonnici graduated in Nursing and also completed her Masters in Counselling. She has worked with victims of domestic violence, clients dealing with suicidal ideations, bereavement, separation and anxieties. She is currently working with Willingness Team as a counsellor seeing clients who would like to explore their own identity and deal with any surfacing issues.
References
Mauer, E. (2019). A Look at Why Relationships Change After You Have a Baby. Healthline. Retrieved 4 January 2022, from https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/relationship-changes-after-baby#8.-But-hey,-youre-stronger-for-it.
Sumner, C., & Schlosberg, S. (2021). 7 Marriage Issues You’ll Face After Baby and How to Solve Them. Parents. Retrieved 4 January 2022, from https://www.parents.com/parenting/relationships/staying-close/marriage-after-baby/.