Supporting a Friend Going Through a Breakup
It takes patience, understanding, and careful listening to help someone get through a breakup. Breakups may be extremely emotional events that frequently leave people feeling exposed, hurt, and self-conscious. The intention is to create a judgment-free, safe environment where people can freely express their feelings.
How to Start Supporting Your Friend
Start by acknowledging and validating their feelings. Saying things like, “It’s okay to feel this way,” or “Your emotions are completely valid,” can provide reassurance and comfort. Avoid minimizing their pain or rushing to provide solutions. Active listening is key: let them share their thoughts and feelings without interruptions or unsolicited advice. Simply being present and genuinely attentive can be one of the most healing gifts you offer.
Practising Self-Care & Positive Coping Mechanisms can really Help you Out
Encourage them to practice self-care and adopt positive coping mechanisms. Breakups often disrupt routines and may lead to neglecting basic needs or engaging in unhealthy behaviours. Gently suggest activities like taking a walk, trying a favourite sport, or journaling, which can help alleviate stress and boost their mood. Offering to spend time with them—whether by watching a favourite movie, cooking a meal together or even just sitting in silence—can remind them they are not alone.
What To Avoid While Supporting Your Friend
While supporting your friend, avoid making negative comments about their ex-partner. Although it might feel supportive at the moment, such remarks can fuel resentment and hinder emotional recovery. Instead, focus on uplifting your friend by highlighting their strengths and reminding them of their resilience. Reinforce the idea that healing is a process and that setbacks are a normal part of recovery.
If your friend shows signs of severe emotional distress, such as prolonged sadness, withdrawal, or an inability to function in daily life, encourage them to seek professional help. Therapists or counsellors can provide specialized guidance that friends may not be equipped to offer. Reassure them that seeking help is a brave and constructive step toward healing.
Boundaries and Emotional Well-being are Equally Important
It is equally important to set boundaries and care for your own emotional well-being while supporting someone through such a challenging time. Helping a friend navigate their pain can be emotionally taxing, so make time for self-care and do not hesitate to seek support from others if needed.
Conclusion
In conclusion, helping a friend through a breakup requires compassion, understanding, and encouragement. By being a steady presence in their life and fostering an atmosphere of care and acceptance, you can empower them to process their emotions, regain confidence, and eventually heal. Your support can make a profound difference during this difficult transition.
Charlot Cauchi is a Gestalt Psychotherapist at Willingness. He specializes in working with adults and the elderly, addressing mental health difficulties, anxiety and depression, grief and loss, trauma, stress, and relational issues.
Feeney, B. C., & Collins, N. L. (2015). A new look at social support: A theoretical perspective on thriving through relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 19(2), 113–147. https://doi.org/10.1177/1088868314544222
