The saying goes “Actions speak louder than words.” – But what does that mean and why is that? Let’s start by making meaning of “words” and “actions”:
Those of us who are able to speak, use words to communicate verbally. We say something to express ourselves, our opinions, and our expectations. Based on this, others can relate to us, agree or disagree. Our words can be statements, suggestions, declarations, apologies, requests, and also promises.
Actions, on the other hand, are about what we do: We act in a certain way, and thereby, get things done, set an example, make up for something or apologise, and show our behaviour in general. How we act and also react to other people’s words for example, is in our control. Based on our actions, others can perceive us and create an opinion or judge, which builds our reputation.
What are words without actions?
Words are not tangible; they can give us an idea about the intention someone might have and can easily turn into empty words and promises if no actions follow.
You might have noticed that “apology” has been mentioned twice above: We can simply say words to apologise, or we can verbally apologise in combination with performing a certain action, even change our behaviour and act differently to resolve conflict. Which is more convincing and meaningful?
Matching words and actions
In an ideal scenario, our words match our actions. Whenever we connect with another human, we subconsciously observe: Are they doing what they say or is it all just ‘Bla bla bla’? If their actions match their words, we learn to trust – actions are harder to fake or manipulate than words, so we tend to trust them more. An action carries more weight than a verbal expression.
Often, clients come for counselling in a state of confusion – and often, this is due to people in their lives whose actions do not match their words. Saying one thing and doing another conveys a certain message along the lines of: ‘My words are not reliable’, ‘You cannot necessarily trust what I say’, or potentially ‘I have changed my mind without informing you and now you are faced with the consequences’. How does that make us feel? Uncertain and confused.
Why actions speak louder than words
Whether in our work or private life, we can use our actions to role-model rather than just talk about how we would like things to be done or how we would like to be treated.
If your boss gives an inspiring speech, it needs to be followed up by certain steps and consistent behaviour. Otherwise, it will feel like “these words are not enough”. Being a good leader means to lead by example: If a manager is not practicing what they preach, the team is unlikely to build trust and loyalty.
Our actions are true indicators of our character as well as our intentions. They can serve as evidence that we mean what we say. And they require effort, investment of time and consistency.
We can talk about being an artist one day, without the action of creating art, however, this remains just an idea. We can speak about how amazing our business will be in the future, but without putting the work and actions in and building it, this remains just a vision. Actions in the form of certain behaviours bring results.
If you feel stuck and are unsure how to enter “action mode” rather than talk about your ideas and plans, reach out for some counselling.
If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.
Franziska Richter is a transcultural counsellor with the Willingness Team, offering counselling sessions to individuals and couples. She is particularly interested in sexuality, relationship issues, trauma and general mental health.
References
https://www.cultivatedmanagement.com/actions-speak-louder-than-words
https://thinkwithshruti.com/why-do-actions-speak-louder-than-words/