Here is the continuation of the tips:-
– Show your understanding and your empathy when possible. The more your partner feels like their position was understood, the less they will have to defend and explain. Taking the previous example you can say something like this “I understand that you had a busy and you had to pick up the children before coming for me”
– Ask for something different for the future. Always try to find an alternative that works for you and that is a compromise and ask for it clearly, for example “Next time you will call me at the office once you have picked up the children and let me know you are on your way so I don’t risk waiting an hour for you again”. Assertiveness is not about having a temper tantrum like a 2 year old, being assertive is about being effective, about maximizing your chances of getting what you want. It combines being strong and putting your desires forward but also being considerate and respectful of your partner. You are far more likely to get what you want if you are assertive rather than aggressive.