Here is the continuation of the tips: Use “I” statements. Always try to focus on how you are feeling rather than on your partner’s. Saying something like “I’d feel more loved if we had more sex”, is better than saying “you never want/you don’t love sex”.
When using I statements, it is less likely for your partner to be defensive. Don’t generalize your criticisms. In other words if your partner fails to pick you up when they said that they would then you have every right to be angry. But under no circumstances call your partner irresponsible, untrustworthy, unreliable, as that is attacking their personality and not their behavior. When you are complaining about something that happened now, don’t go over the past and remind her of her actions 5 years ago, stick to what is going on now.
Also people find it easier if you stick to one complaint at a time, they find it easier to hear about one thing they did that upset you rather than two or three at the same time. So how can you express your anger that your partner did not pick you up on time? It’s simple, you can say something like this “I’m pissed off that you didn’t pick me up when you said you would, I left work early and wait an hour for you, I couldn’t reach you and did not know what to do, I do not like this one bit”.