Having children is considered to be a controversial subject as different people have different opinions. Some plan children from before trying out different methods to conceive, while others are more relaxed and simply lay off contraceptive methods (Kelly, 2021). On the other hand, looking at it from a perspective of fertility, it is said that a woman is most fertile prior to the age of 20. Nevertheless, this might not be the ideal time and up to the age of 29 women are still considered to be in the fertile age. Fertility is said to decrease drastically particularly after the age of 35 and hence one might want to consider age when thinking of conceiving children (Sinrich, 2021).
- The stability of the relationship – one of the things to consider before opting to try for children is the relationship between you and your partner. There is a conception that children bring unity which is true to a certain extent. Nevertheless, one needs to also consider that there will be a lot of decisions to be taken and thus pressure will be added to the relationship. Hence it is advised to work on the relationship prior to having a baby (Kelly, 2021).
- Ready for more chores – having children adds more work and thus it is important to assess whether the couple is ready for this. As the workload increases it is important that both partners do their part and help each other out to avoid burning out the other partner Kelly, 2021).
- Giving up ‘me time’ – children need constant attention and although it is something beautiful is also means that as a mother one will find it hard to find time for oneself. This includes alone time with partner and time for other activities which were previously done. Therefore one needs to consider whether one is ready is to give up this time Kelly, 2021).
- Financial stability – although finances should not declare whether one is ready to have children it is important to be aware that children are expensive. Hence, considering one’s financial aspect is important to determine whether one will be able to cover the expenses that arise (Sprankles, 2021).
- Pressured into having children – if one is considering having children, it is of utmost importance to ensure that this decision is taken based on the couple’s wishes and not on pressure from friends or family. At the end of the day one needs to remember of the sacrifices that one will make and needs to be ready for this commitment (Sprankles, 2021).
If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.
Yasmine Bonnici graduated in Nursing and also completed her Masters in Counselling. She has worked with victims of domestic violence, clients dealing with suicidal ideations, bereavement, separation and anxieties. She is currently working with Willingness Team as a counsellor seeing clients who would like to explore their own identity and deal with any surfacing issues.
Kelly, D., 2021. Are You Ready for a Baby?. [online] Parents. Available at: <https://www.parents.com/pregnancy/considering-baby/is-it-time/are-you-ready-for-a-baby/> [Accessed 11 August 2021].
Sinrich, J. (2021). The Best Age to Get Pregnant, According to Moms. Retrieved 11 August 2021, from https://www.parents.com/getting-pregnant/age/timing/the-best-age-to-get-pregnant-according-to-moms/
Sprankles, J. (2021). Are You Ready To Have A Baby?. Retrieved 11 August 2021, from https://www.scarymommy.com/am-i-ready-for-baby/