At the start of a relationship the passion levels are high, you’re having lots of fun and laughs, and you feel as though your life couldn’t get any better. These intense feelings of love and lust may not always last for years on end. The key to having a satisfactory long-term relationship is love, respect, communication, and trust. However, being in a long-term relationship also means making an effort to keep the excitement and fun alive, which is not always an easy thing to do.

Here are five ways you can achieve this: 

1.Explore New Things Together.

It’s really easy to get stuck in the everyday routine of life and forget that there are actually fun things to do out there! Have a conversation about all of the things you wanted to try at least once in your lives that you haven’t managed to experience yet and do them together. It could be something as simple as watching the sunrise or playing mini golf. It could also be something in the bedroom that you’ve always been curious to try. Trying things for the first time together will strengthen your bond and allow you to find new ways to have fun together.

2. Go on Dates.

Most couples stop asking each other out on dates after a while. It becomes more convenient to just sit on the couch with a takeaway instead of getting dressed up for a date. Whilst there is nothing wrong with spending time together at home, it’s also important to venture out of the house every now and again. Ask your partner to go on a date and plan something special like you used to do in the past. Maybe you can take them on a nice picnic by the sea, or a romantic dinner at a restaurant you’ve never been to before. 

3. Surprise Each Other.

Nothing says, ‘I love you’ and ‘I’ve been thinking about you’ like a cheeky surprise every now and again. Think of something your partner loves to do and plan it for them. Or surprise them by blasting ‘your’ song on the radio and asking them to dance with you. Think of simple ways you can bring a smile to their face and some of the butterflies you used to feel at the beginning of your relationship back. You’ll be able to plan even better surprises now that you’ve been together for so long because you know exactly what they like! 

4. Send Romantic Messages.

At the beginning of the relationship there are usually a lot of flirty messages exchanged, followed by messages professing your love for one another. Over time these texts turn into ones like “Don’t forget to feed the dog!” or “Do you want anything from the supermarket?”. It’s normal that these cute text messages fade over the years and are replaced by more practical ones. A great way of keeping the flames alive in your long-term relationship is to send a romantic text when you remember to. Remind your partner just how much you love them or just that you are thinking of them. 

5. Greet One Another with Excitement.

When you would have just moved in together, coming home to each other is the most exciting part of your day. It may still be the best part of your day years down the line, but the excitement level may sometimes be at a minimum. The next time your partner comes home after being gone for a few hours, go to the front door to greet them. Hug them and tell them that you’re happy that they’re home. Showing this kind of excitement towards each other is a great way to keep you connected. 

If you think you can benefit from professional support with this issue, you can book an appointment here.

Lisa Laspina is a Trainee Gestalt Psychotherapist who is currently working with Willingness. She is reading for a Masters in Gestalt Psychotherapy.