Recently I found myself reflecting on the notion of infidelity. This is by no means an easy topic for anyone to discuss due to its implications on their relationship with their partner or spouse. Despite the way individuals perceive infidelity, or the thought of infidelity for that matter, I think that the best thing one can do is to discuss what they are feeling or thinking with their partner. Some might say ‘What’s the use of this?’ Well I think that having an open communication with a spouse is the healthiest way to resolve the situation. However for obvious reasons, this might not always be as plain sailing as I describe it here.

If speaking to the partner about this is completely off the table. It would be worthwhile to speak to someone who is objective and doesn’t have an agenda to portray. I state this as the individual who has cheated on their spouse might be experiencing many thoughts and feelings which need to be bounced back and forth to another individual in order to normalize, support and guide the individual through this process.

Despite the hardship of speaking up, the individual who is engaging in infidelity might be experiencing a lot of guilt due to what has happened. At times, even a sense of a loss of identity can be experienced as one never imagined that they would ever engage in this activity. The obvious question is ‘why does someone engage in these activities?’ The answers and excuses individuals give are varied, but the general consensus is that the couple lost the connection they once had. Relationships need to be worked on, the more individuals immerse themselves in work and other activities, the dyad might feel as if they take the relationship for granted the tendency is that the couple will grow apart.

More to follow..

– Karl Grech is a counsellor. He offers counselling to both individuals and couples within Willingness. He can be contacted on