Love Languages: Discovering how your partner shows love
Have you ever wondered whether your partner loves you because they don’t say it or bring flowers regularly? Well, they might express their love differently than you are used to and/or expect: Love can be expressed in various ways and discovering your partner’s way of showing love can help you feel more loved and appreciated.
Many people are familiar with Gary Chapman’s concept and framework of “The 5 Love Languages”. Let’s look into these most common ways of demonstrating love:
Words of Affirmation
The most common words of affirmation in relationships are “I love you.” Others can sound like compliments for achievements: If your partner tells you, “I’m proud of you,” when you graduate or master a difficult situation, this might be their way of expressing their love.
Other examples of words of affirmation are “I appreciate you,” “Well done,” “You look great in this outfit,” and “Thank you for helping me.” These can be expressed verbally or in writing. Pay attention to discover whether your partner’s way of showing love might be words of affirmation.
Quality time
Your partner might express their love by spending quality time with you: by simply making time for a conversation, going for a walk or buying concert tickets. Is your partner trying hard to fit into your schedule and actively plan time together? They might wish to create space to connect deeper and demonstrate the value of their company.
Maybe you share a hobby—going to the gym or the spa or painting together can be quality time as much as cuddling with a pet on the sofa. Quality time happens in full presence, so next time your partner asks to hold eye contact, put your phone down, or switch off your work notifications, they might just crave your presence rather than trying to interfere with your life.
Receiving gifts
Does your partner bring flowers and little gifts regularly? This might be their way of showing love based on knowing (or thinking) that your love language is receiving gifts. They might try bringing gifts made with effort and thought behind them, as these can express how much you mean to them. You better get ready for some surprises!
Your partner might unexpectedly bring your favourite vinyl after you mention it or a trip to the next destination on your bucket list—with or without expecting anything in return.
Acts of service
Your partner might ensure you can count on them for furniture assembly and a daily cup of coffee in bed before work —anything that makes your life easier and more enjoyable.
Sacrifices can Happen Occasionally
Sometimes, showing love to someone with this love language means making a sacrifice. Your partner might adjust their agenda, hoping it will show you how much they appreciate and love you. Become aware of this, and you can meet them in the middle and keep things balanced. A simple act of service can be listening to you vent about your day at work.
Physical Touch
Does your partner literally stay in touch wherever you go together? Physical touch can be comforting and reassuring, whether it is holding your hand or playing footsie under the table.
If your partner’s love language is physical touch, they might offer a relaxing massage after a long day or tickle you when you pass by. Sexual intercourse, the most intimate form of physical touch, can be used to show their love for you, too.
You and your partner may have different love languages, which can lead to misunderstandings. Your partner might try to show their love for you in the way they wish to receive love. Showing them your love language, too, will likely ensure that you both feel seen and loved in your relationship.
References
https://www.verywellmind.com/can-the-five-love-languages-help-your-relationship-4783538
