Sexual intercourse should not hurt, but give you pleasure. If you are reading this, you have most probably experienced vaginal pain in intimate situations with your sexual partner or afterwards – the pain might occur in the vagina or deeper in the pelvis.
It’s important not to ignore it when your body signals that something is wrong by giving you pain. The causes of pain during sex can be various, let’s have a look at some very common ones here.
Pain in the vagina can be caused by
- an infection or STD (sexually transmitted disease) such as genital herpes or chlamydia
- genital irritation or an allergic reaction to latex condoms for example
- a lack of sexual arousal (can happen at any age)
- the menopause (dry vagina due to changes in hormone levels is likely)
- vaginism (medical condition that makes sex painful or impossible due to tight vaginal muscles).
Pain in the pelvis can be caused by
- endometriosis (medical condition in which tissue similar to that which lines the inside of your uterine wall grows outside of your uterus)
- pelvic inflammatory disease (PID)
- fibroids growing near your vagina or cervix
- irritable bowel syndrome (IBS)
- constipation.
As you can see, the answer to why your vagina might hurt when having sex is not that simple to find. When the pain is caused by a medical condition, it is best to discuss appropriate treatment with your gynecologist. When your vagina hurts due to dryness, you might wish to try water-based lubricants when having sexual intercourse.
If you are sure that there is no underlying medical condition and dryness is also not the issue, it might be interesting to explore whether there are any psychological causes for your vaginal pain. This can be done in sex counselling/therapy. Talking about your sex life might feel embarrassing at first, but can bring unexpected insights and eventually lead to more pleasure – So why not giving it a try?
In order to have a fulfilling and pain free sex life, some women benefit from processing past experiences and bottled-up feelings such as shame, guilt or disgust. Sexual activity and emotions are strongly intertwined.
When dealing with a mental health issue such as depression, anxiety or concerns related to your body image, you are likely to not feel relaxed to enjoy sexual intercourse – the level of sexual arousal might be low therefore which can lead to vaginal pain.
Do you have a very stressful everyday life? Your body reacts in different ways to feeling stressed, your muscles might tighten for example, even during sexual intercourse, and thereby cause discomfort and pain.
Also, past experiences of sexual abuse can impact on your sex life. Your conscious mind might not be aware of it, but vaginal pain before, during or after sex can be caused by having experienced abuse in childhood, adolescence or adulthood. Without proper processing of what has happened, your pain might accompany you throughout your life.
Us Willingness professionals are here for you if you wish to explore the causes of your vaginal pain when having sex.
If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.
Franziska Richter is a transcultural counsellor with Willingness Team, offering counselling sessions to individuals and couples. She is particularly interested in trauma, addictions, migration, sexuality, and eating disorders.
References
https://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/guide/female-pain-during-sex#1-2
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/painful-intercourse/symptoms-causes/syc-20375967