Research shows that almost 90% of problems in women achieving orgasm stems from psychological reasons. If that is the case for you, then there are a few things you can do to overcome them:
If you can achieve orgasm alone, but not with a partner, then you might have what is called performance anxiety. Unfortunately feeling pressure to have an orgasm with your partner might lead to anxiety, which is considered to be an arousal response. An orgasm is usually a relaxation response, so anxiety and orgasms are not compatible. Also if you are constantly wondering “Am I doing this right?” “Is my partner enjoying this?” during intercourse, then the anxiety will take over your body and it will take over the pleasure of having sex.
It is important to give yourself permission to change your internal sexual dialogue and remember that you are part of this sexual exchange and have every right to ask for what you want. If you can give yourself permission to relax and just enjoy the pleasure of sex, rather than have an expectation to ‘perform’ and to orgasm just for the sake of your partner, then you might be able to rid yourself of the anxiety and enjoy the sex.