Sex and power; Two very common words that most probably you have come across quite a few times in your everyday life, while discussing with friends, watching television or enjoying your favourite book. So common, but also so intensively charged and with rich meaning words. Both sex and power have been associated with either the good or the bad, the love or the hate, the kindness or the deceit. Besides their similar attributes as words, sex and power, as constructs, share also a strong dynamic interplay. This interplay can be either fruitful or deleterious. Nevertheless, in this blog, we will focus on the positive effect of this interaction.

Power is often defined as having control over resources, allowing those in power to influence and manipulate others. Interestingly, power in any domain (e.g. financial, interpersonal, professional), is shown to be linked with heightened sexual motivation (Kunstman & Maner, 2011). 

More specifically, increased power is associated with enhanced sexual assertiveness. Sexual assertive individuals are more comfortable initiating sex and communicating their sexual needs and desires and therefore experience more sexual satisfaction (Lamers & Stoker, 2018). Increased sense of power is also associated with heightened sexual self-esteem. Individuals with high sexual self-esteem are confident in their sexual abilities and their aptitude for positive sexual experiences and tend to see themselves as more attractive (Brassard et al., 2013). 

Overall, it would be right to say that an increased sense of power can lead to very positive sexual experiences, as the individual feels more confident and secure to express openly themselves and enjoy their sexual intercourse. But how this increase in sexual motivation and pleasure is affecting power in return?

Being sexually confident, feeling desired, loved and attractive can empower your self-esteem and self-reliance to deal with personal and social demands. Sex is a basic biological need and as Freud stated, one of the main driving forces in human activity. Sexual energy and assertiveness do not aim only at the act of sex, but also to create a more loving, understanding and caring attitude towards yourself. To grow, as a person, as a partner or as a professional, it is important to first love and accept yourself, believe in your self-power and thus, be able to rely on your own strengths to achieve your dreams and goals.

From a neurobiological perspective, sexual pleasure can produce mind-altering substances like dopamine and serotonin. As Corina Crysler, transformational astrologer and solo sacred sexuality mentor, suggests, during this euphoric state, we can commune with higher consciousness to increase the awareness of ourselves and our environment (Garis, 2021). This increased consciousness and confidence can further strengthen our inner power, which will eventually lead us to pursue our goals and desires in life.

The Interplay Between Sex And Power

Altogether, the sense of power and control can lead to increased sexual pleasure, motive and confidence, and in turn, this increase in sexual confidence can further develop our confidence about ourselves and inner power, which will open the way to achieve our goals and dreams in life. However, in order for these effects to be shown, we need a healthy, positive environment, surrounded by people who support us in this journey of development and personal growth.  

If you would like to raise more awareness about yourself and understand better what are your needs, desires, and motives in life, you can reach out here.

Kleopatra Chousou is working as an intern psychologist at the Willingness. She obtained her BSc in Psychology in Greece and completed her Master’s in Clinical Psychology at the University of Leiden. Kleopatra’s main research interests focus on the field of psychopathology and psychoanalytic theory and therapy.


Brassard, A., Dupuy, E., Bergeron, S., & Shaver, P. R. (2013). Attachment insecurities and women’s sexual function and satisfaction: The mediating roles of sexual self-esteem, sexual anxiety, and sexual assertiveness. The Journal of Sex Research52(1), 110-119.

Garis, M. G. (2021, March 25). How to harness sexual energy to manifest the passion-filled life of your dreams. Well+Good

Kunstman, J. W., & Maner, J. K. (2011). Sexual overperception: Power, mating motives, and biases in social judgment. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology100(2), 282-294., J., & Stoker, J. I. (2018). Power affects sexual assertiveness and sexual esteem equally in women and men. Archives of Sexual Behavior48(2), 645-652.