Being able to love ourselves is an important element for self-care. Loving yourself relates to the type of actions you choose to take. Actions that involve doing what makes you happy, following your gut and your heart will increase your self-love. If we constantly only try to please others, then we will never be happy with ourselves. Thus, when we focus on our own self-love, then it will help to build our self-esteem and enable us to form happy and healthy relationships. Allowing yourself to love yourself can be extremely difficult but ultimately, extremely important. 

When we talk about self-love, it does not mean that we become selfish, but it means that we do what pleases us. It is about valuing our own wants, needs and desires to be able to have the energy to be there for others. 

Here are 3 tips that you can start using today to be able to love yourself more:

  1. Be active – When we spend our time being active, then different forms of energy in our bodies manage to be released. If we just sit on our sofa watching TV all day or spend it in front of a computer screen, then we would not allow our creative and emotional energy to be let out. If we don’t let this energy out, then it tends to manifest into sadness or anxiety. Thus, if you feel like you are spending too much time sitting, then get up and move. Be active as often as you can by either going for a walk after work or to the gym in the early morning of the day. Find something active that you enjoy doing and make it a priority in your day. 
  2. Protect your time – With the constant demands being put on our lives, our time has become limited. There is only so much that we can fit into one day. This means that we must maintain our boundaries with others to make time for what matters to us the most. Be comfortable saying no to people you don’t enjoy spending time with. Say no to new projects at work which won’t benefit you. Make time for people who matter the most to you and for time to have fun. 
  3. Positive mindset – Rather than thinking of ourselves in a negative light, we need to change the way we see ourselves. It’s all about changing our mindset from thinking that we are never doing enough to “I’m doing enough” and “I’m managing all that I can”. Take a few minutes out of your day to write all that you are managing to accomplish. No matter how big or small, all of it is important. 

Start with one of the tips from the above, and work on slowly incorporating it into your daily life. Either start from the easiest one or else the more challenging one, depending on where you are in your journey for self-growth. Once you have mastered one tip, then work on incorporating another one, and so on. Just remember that when it comes to self-care, there is no right or wrong way of doing it. If you feel that it’s not working out for you, then it’s fine to change it for something else that does work for you.

If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.

Mandy Brincat is a Gestalt psychotherapist who enjoys working therapeutically with adults on various issues, such as general mental health and wellbeing. She also has experience working with children with anxiety and day to day stressful problems. 


  1. Campbell, L. (2021). 33 Ways to Love Yourself More. Psych Central. Retrieved from

Gray, J. (2016). 11 Easy Ways to Actually Love Yourself More. Jordan Gray Consulting. Retrieved from