Every couple has their own problems and issues, which, if not resolved, will lead to arguments. These arguments do not often lead anywhere if they aren’t worked through. Thus, it is how each individual in every couple responds to a problem that determines if it will be solved or not. Learning how to solve problems is essential in all aspects of our lives. Therefore, it is important to learn how to problem-solve effectively to help strengthen your relationship with your partner.

The following are 5 problem-solving skills your relationship will need: 

  1. Control your anger and stay calm 

 Controlling your anger and setting a calm tone is the first step to solving any problem. If you are unable to manage in controlling your anger, you will end up hurting your relationship. When solving a problem, it is essential to be calm and collected to be able to think clearly and communicate better with your partner.

  1. Identify the problem in detail 

Find out what the core of the issue is which is making you feel upset. Thus, make sure to expand on what the problem is, where it is coming from and when it started. Then, try to reduce it in simple terms so that your partner will understand how you’re feeling. It is about becoming self-aware of your thoughts, behaviours and feelings and then sharing them with your partner.

  1. Acknowledge your partner’s feelings 

Be aware of how your partner is feeling and don’t try to stop them from expressing it. Be open to hearing their side of things and pay attention to what they are saying. Once they are ready from saying their part, make them aware that you were listening, and this helps to acknowledge what they have told you. They will then need to do the same in return for you.

  1. Come up with solutions and compromises together 

Be creative together to help solve your issue so that it doesn’t come up again in the future. Make sure to be open-minded and respectful to what your partner comes up with and then work together to see which is the best possible outcome for you both. 

  1. Implement what you agree on

 Once a solution has been found that you are both equally satisfied with, then it is important to start implementing it as soon as possible. 

Since problems tend to always occur, it is important to keep in mind the above problem-solving skills to learn how to conquer them. Once you start practising these skills, they will eventually become a habit that will help you throughout the rest of your life!

If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.

Mandy Brincat is a Gestalt psychotherapist who enjoys working therapeutically with adults on various issues, such as general mental health and wellbeing. She also has experience working with children with anxiety and day to day stressful problems, and on relational issues with couples.


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  2. Taibbi, R. (2022, June 16). The 5 Basic Skills for Handling Relationship Problems. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fixing-families/202206/the-5-basic-skills-handling-relationship-problems
  3. 5 Steps to Make your Problem-Solving Process Easier – KnowledgeCity. (n.d.). KnowledgeCity. https://www.knowledgecity.com/blog/5-steps-to-make-your-problem-solving-process-easier/