Humans are by nature a highly sexual species. To deny our sexuality is to deny our humanity. Only by embracing our sexuality in its full expanse can we come to terms with what it means to be human.
Sex addiction is a proposed psychological disorder in which people engage in excessive sexual behaviours that lead to a negative impact on their lives. Although it is a commonly used concept among people and professionals alike, not all psychologists agree that hypersexuality is a disorder. It is not mentioned in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM-5 but a similar disorder known as compulsive sexual behaviour disorder is included in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11), published by the world health organization.
Why is there such disagreement among professionals?
It turns out that the two criteria used to define sex addiction – negative impact and excess – are hard to pinpoint.
Firstly, it is not clear that the negative impact reported by self-identified sex addicts actually stems from their sexual behaviour. Plenty of people with high levels of sexual activity seek out therapists with symptoms of psychological distress, but there are also plenty of others who feel quite satisfied with their highly active sex life.
Sex Addict Behaviour
For instance, watching porn, masturbating, having casual sex and visiting sex workers are considered typical behaviour of sex addiction. However, many people who engage in these activities experience no distress. Thus, people’s attitudes about sexuality are important in determining whether they will judge their own sex behaviours as having a positive or negative impact on their lives.
How much sex is too much sex?
Secondly, there is the question of how much sex is too much. Many therapists and researchers dealing with sex addiction define “excessive: as engaging in more than seven sexual acts leading to orgasm per week. This includes both solo masturbation and partnered sexual activity.
The reason the professionals settled on more than seven as their definition of “excessive”, is that patients seeking help for their sexual addiction typically report sexual activity in that range. However, Carleton University psychologist Joshua Peters and colleagues point out that it is quite likely that a fairly large percentage of the population would meet this criterion for sex addiction.
The Archives of Sexual Behaviour
In an article they recently published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, Peters and colleagues report on a study they conducted that involved over a thousand North American participants, ranging in age from 18 to 87, with roughly equal numbers of males and females. The key question was how frequently each participant achieved orgasm, either through solo masturbation or partnered sex.
Some of the results were predictable. For instance, men reported more frequent orgasms than women, both through partnered sex and through solo masturbation. While this finding is consistent with plenty of other research, it’s still not known whether this sex difference is due to biology—that is, women having an inherently lower sex drive than men—or due to social influence, in which women are taught to suppress their sexuality while men are encouraged to express it.
Also consistent with previous research, the data from this study showed that the frequency of orgasms decreased as people got older, especially after around age 45.
Other results were surprising. In particular, the researchers found that frequency of orgasms through solo masturbation and partnered sex were positively correlated. That is, people who had lots of partnered sex also masturbated a lot.
Solo Sex and Partnered Sex
Traditionally, masturbation has been seen as a substitute for partnered sex. That is, people have solo sex simply because they have no partner. But if this were the case, we would expect the frequency of masturbation to decrease as the frequency of partnered sex increases.
Instead, the finding that solo and partnered sex are positively correlated suggests that sex drive is an underlying factor. In other words, people vary in how often they want to have sex. Those with relatively low libido can meet their needs either through partnered sex if they have a partner or through solo sex if they’re single. However, those with a high sex drive tend to need a sexual outlet beyond what their partner can provide for them.
What percentage of the population has this sort of high sex drive?
The data from Peters and colleagues’ study showed that up to a quarter of males and a tenth of females reported a total sexual outlet (orgasms achieved through either partnered or solo sex) greater than seven times per week. If a quarter, or even a tenth, of the population, experiences orgasms at this rate, there’s no justification for calling this “excessive.” Whenever we talk about “normal” behaviour, we have to keep in mind that this term entails a wide range of values. Some people have little or no interest in sex, others want it once or more per week and others want it once or more per day. There is simply no reason, other than a negative attitude about sexuality, to deem a certain frequency of orgasm as “excessive.”
Sex Attitudes
People pick up on the sex-negative attitudes that pervade their society, and they feel guilty about their natural sexual desires. Healthcare professionals, in turn, focus on the “excessive” sex behaviours of their patients, seeing that as the problem rather than helping them embrace their sexuality as not only normal but also healthy.
Humans are by nature a highly sexual species. To deny our sexuality is to deny our humanity. Only by embracing our sexuality in its full expanse can we come to terms with what it means to be human.
If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.
Ahmed Elsaadani is a psychosexual and relationship therapist offering psychotherapy to indviduals and couples who face problems their sexual life due to psychological impact or relational problems. He is in training with London diploma for psychosexual and relationship therapy.
REFERENCES
Ludden, D. (2022). Is Sex Addiction Really a Thing? Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-apes/202205/is-sex-addiction-real-thin g
Peters, J. R., Pullman, L. E., Kingston, D. A., & Lalumière, M. L. (2022). Orgasm frequency (total sexual outlet) in a national American sample. Archives of Sexual Behavior. Advance online publication