Whether we are physicians, engineers, corporate executives, or psychologists, work is a significant component of human lives. Work and the baggage it carries may have an impact on many areas of our lives, whether we are aware of it or not.
Work-Related Baggage
Many of us fail to put our work-related “baggage” in the past. At times, it might be hard to shut off when you get home since there may be unfinished paperwork, emails that need to be sent, or just emotional unpacking to complete. So, when we are coming back home our mind is still occupied with “unfinished business” at work and we might forget to pay attention to our partners. Resulting in an emotional distance.
Work and Relationships
When one spouse emotionally withdraws or grows distant, it may affect how their partner acts as well. Maybe they experience more rejection when they initiate sex, leading to a lack of initiation. As they start to recognise changes happening, this might cause frustration. They can experience confidence issues, and worry that their spouse is growing disinterested in them. They could even develop a fear of having sex and find it difficult to relax and enjoy it when the opportunity comes up.
Stress and Sex
In the US, 83% of employees experience work-related stress, with 25% naming their jobs as their biggest sources of stress. Furthermore, 76% of employees say that job stress impacts their relationships. Various studies have examined how stress influences the interest/desire for sex, and how the body reacts to sexual stimulation. As a result, our knowledge about it has greatly increased. Stress, whether related to work or not, can significantly affect not only our sex life but also our mental and physical health.
Long-Term Stress and Hormones
Long-term stress can cause hormone imbalances that interfere with testosterone synthesis and even change the brain’s chemistry. This decrease in testosterone levels might affect both men’s and women’s sexual drive, resulting in low libido and even sexual dysfunction, with a possible erectile dysfunction in males. Unfortunately, you can be too preoccupied with your work to even realise it until it is too late.
Managing Your Stress
One of the first options you should think about if you fear that life stress is affecting your libido is general stress management. You won’t encounter as many hormonal changes from prolonged stress if you can successfully counterbalance your stress response. Techniques of stress management can be journaling, breathing exercises, meditation, guided imagery and many others.
Touch by a loved one can be a great stress reliever. Hold hands, schedule more cuddles (when you embrace someone, the stress-relieving hormone oxytocin is released), or try a partner massage to get to know each other better. Without the extra burden of sex expectations, touching is a wonderful way to express your love for your spouse. Instead of focusing on sex, you may relax and experience pleasure and connection via touch, which can heighten your desire for intimacy and, eventually, sex.
In conclusion, we can say that in the period when we feel stress from work, we need to learn how to manage our stress in a way that does not affect the personal and other spheres of our lives.
If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach here.
Elene Jashi is a 24 year old, student of Clinical, Social and Intercultural psychology Masters. Elene is also an Intern within the Sex clinic at Willingness with an interest in positive psychology.
References :
Esch T, Fricchione GL, Stefano GB. The therapeutic use of the relaxation response in stress-related diseases. Med Sci Monit. 2003;9(2):RA23-34.
Varvogli L, Darviri C. Stress management techniques: Evidence-based procedures that reduce stress and promote health. Health Sci J. 2011;5(2):74-89.
Fahey, M. and Wells, N., 2022. Americans Think About Money and Work More Than Sex, Survey Finds. [online] NBC News. Available at: <https://www.nbcnews.com/better/ money/americans-think-about-money-work-more-sex-survey-finds-n424261> [Accessed 9 September 2015].