All parents know the importance of teaching their children responsibility, especially since this is not something we are born with. Children tend to act by instinct, for instance crying when they want something or are hungry and going to the bathroom when they need to relieve themselves.
Consequently, children may view responsibilities as time-consuming and boring because they seek excitement. Cleaning their rooms, making their beds, and doing their homework don’t provide that excitement. However, the more responsible children are, the better they manage themselves, their emotions, and their relationships. Therefore, one of the most important life goals for parents is to teach their children responsibility from an early age. The following tips can help parents teach their children responsibility.
Teach children with respect and care
When parents are tactful, caring, and respectful towards their children, the children feel loved and valued. Parents must remember that, no matter how challenging their children may be, they will make many mistakes along the way.
Enforce accountability and teach it early
Parents need to tell their children to wash, get dressed, go to school, and clean their room. They also need to notice how their children react when they don’t complete these tasks. Parents must hold their children accountable for not meeting their responsibilities by giving them consequences that are more severe than the tasks themselves. Parents must follow through on the consequences they set. Otherwise, they would be irresponsible. Additionally, parents must teach their children to take responsibility for their own things. For example, have them pick up their toys before bed, set the alarm at night, and then get up and shut it off.
Use consequences and rewards to enforce accountability
Responsibility should be associated with both rewards and consequences. Parents need to sit with their children and come up with a list of both. For consequences, consider withholding things like electronics or assigning extra chores or work. For rewards, parents don’t always need to spend money or buy things. They can take walks, go to the park, or maybe visit the beach with their children.
Share household tasks and chores
When children complete household tasks, they contribute to the household in some way. Teaching children responsibility doesn’t mean not allowing them to be children as they grow up. Parents need to assign their children chores and duties around the house to help them learn about being accountable.
Reinforce the positive
Children like being recognised for what they do well. Parents need to be specific when providing positive feedback. For instance, praise them for cleaning up all the crumbs from the table or for helping fold laundry without being asked. While doing this, maintain eye contact as it helps children learn the importance of performing a job well.
Conclusion
The earlier children learn how to meet responsibilities, the better they understand the relationship between responsibilities, accountability, and rewards as they grow up. Although it’s better for children to learn responsibilities at an early age, they can still learn at whatever age the parents get ready to teach them.
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Johanna Cutajar is a Master in Counselling graduate from the University of Malta. She works with children and adolescents as a counsellor within the education sector on a variety of issues including relationship issues, trauma, bereavement, transitions, and general mental health.
References
Parenting Today Staff (2022). How to Teach Your Child to Be More Responsible. Retrieved from https://childdevelopmentinfo.com/development/how-to-teach-your-child-to-be-more-responsible/