Think about it. If have a system of consequence in place, are we not actually expecting the children to misbehave? If not, we would not have it in the first place. If we accept that kids do what is expected of them, then we begin to understand why children sometimes choose to do the ‘’wrong’’ thing. Although children can rationally understand our cues about what can or cannot be done, there is a conflict with their understanding of what the parent expects them to do. It becomes an internal conflict between following instructions, or comporting themselves in the manner which will not disappoint the parent’s expectations.

It is a big idea. There is no question. This argument shakes the very foundation of modern parenting. This blog questions the basis of the scientific method of parenting, which encourages parents to systematically influence their children’s behaviour in order to condition them in doing what is right. So if at this time you are asking about what is the right way of caring for kids, do not worry. It is to be expected at this time.

– Steve Libreri is a social worker and parent coach within Willingness.  He offers parent coaching and social work sessions.  He can be contacted on