A ginger child is seen crying because they've come to realize that their parents are separating. Separation anxiety, while often described as unbearable, can actually be handled by both kids and their parents.
|

How to Handle Separation Anxiety – For Parents and Kids

Separation anxiety is a natural developmental phase that both children and parents may experience when faced with temporary separations. While it is most commonly observed in young children, parents can also struggle with feelings of guilt and worry. Understanding and managing separation anxiety can create a smoother transition and foster emotional resilience in both children and caregivers.

Understanding Separation Anxiety


Separation anxiety typically begins between six months and three years of age, peaking around 18 months (Bowlby, 1969). It manifests as distress when a child is separated from a parent or primary caregiver. However, parents can also experience their own emotional challenges, such as guilt or anxiety, when leaving their child (Ainsworth, 1979). Acknowledging and addressing these emotions in both parties is crucial for healthy emotional development.

Strategies for Parents

1. Prepare in Advance

Helping children anticipate separations can reduce anxiety. Discussing the separation ahead of time and practising short absences can ease the transition.

2. Create a Consistent Goodbye Ritual

A predictable and comforting farewell routine, such as a special handshake or a reassuring hug, helps children feel secure. Keeping goodbyes short and positive prevents drawn-out distress.

3. Stay Calm and Confident

Children often mirror their parents’ emotions. If a parent appears anxious, a child may perceive the separation as threatening. Maintaining a composed and reassuring demeanour can instil confidence in the child (Briggs-Gowan et al., 2010).

4. Validate Their Feelings

Instead of dismissing a child’s emotions, acknowledging their feelings can help them feel understood. Saying, “I know you feel sad when I leave, but I will be back soon,” reassures them that their emotions are valid and temporary.

    Helping Kids Cope

    1. Encourage Independence

    Providing opportunities for children to engage in independent play and social interactions helps them become comfortable being apart from their parents (Schunk & Zimmerman, 2012).

    2. Use Transitional Objects

    Comfort items like a favourite stuffed animal or a family photo can reassure you during absences.

    3. Gradual Exposure

    Practising short separations before longer ones can help children adjust to being apart from their caregivers.

    Conclusion

    By addressing separation anxiety with patience and consistency, parents can foster secure attachments while teaching their children valuable coping skills. Separation anxiety is a natural part of development, but with the right strategies, both parents and children can navigate it with confidence.

    If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue, you can reach out here.

    Mandy Brincat is a Gestalt psychotherapist who enjoys working therapeutically with adults on various issues. These include general mental health and well-being. She also has experience working with anxiety, victims of domestic violence and eating disorders.

    References

    1. Ainsworth, M. D. S. (1979). Infant–mother attachment. American Psychologist, 34(10), 932-937.
    2. Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and loss: Vol. 1. Attachment. Basic Books.
    3. Briggs-Gowan, M. J., Carter, A. S., & Ford, J. D. (2010). Emotional regulation in early childhood. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 51(6), 643-651.
    4. Murray, L. (2014). The psychology of babies: How relationships support development from birth to two. Hachette UK.
    5. Schunk, D. H., & Zimmerman, B. J. (2012). Self-regulation and learning. Handbook of Psychology, Second Edition, 7, 45-68.

    Similar Posts