A couple can be seen embracing each other romantically, possibly even preparing to have intimacy at some point. In this case however, one wants to have intimacy more then the other.
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When One Partner Wants Sex More Than the Other

​Differences in sexual desire between partners are a common occurrence in relationships. This can stem from a mix of physical, psychological, and relational factors. When one partner desires sex more frequently than the other, it can lead to feelings of frustration and rejection, as well as decreased sexual and relationship satisfaction. Understanding and addressing this issue is crucial for maintaining a healthy and fulfilling partnership.​ This blog will address the topic of discrepancies in sexual desire between couples and how to navigate these issues in a relationship.

How Sexual Desires Are Influenced In A Relationship

Sexual desire varies among individuals and can fluctuate due to factors such as stress, physical and mental health issues, hormonal changes, and relationship dynamics such as unresolved conflicts. In long-term relationships, it is common for partners to experience differing levels of sexual desire at various times. This discrepancy does not inherently signify a problem but can become a source of tension if not managed effectively. This is because significant differences in sexual desire can strain the emotional and physical connection between partners. Some couples navigate these differences successfully, maintaining fulfilling relationships despite their mismatched libidos.

How Sexual Desires Are Influenced In A Relationship – Continued

Understanding why libidos differ between two people in a relationship is the first step towards bridging the gap. When couples recognise that desire discrepancies are regular and not a sign of incompatibility or failure, it becomes easier to approach the issue with empathy and teamwork. Below are a few strategies on how to address sexual desire discrepancy issues with your partner:

1. Have Open Communication

Discussing sexual needs, desires, and concerns openly can help partners better understand each other’s perspectives. This dialogue fosters empathy and reduces misunderstanding, leading to better relational health.

2. Seek Compromise

It is crucial to find a compromise that respects both partners’ needs. There are several ways to do this, such as scheduling intimate moments or exploring alternative forms of physical affection that satisfy both individuals.​

3. Engage in Non-Sexual Intimacy

Intimacy does not solely have to revolve around sex. Enhancing emotional closeness through activities like cuddling, holding hands, or sharing hobbies can strengthen the bond between the couple and may positively influence sexual desire over time.​

    4. Consult a Professional

    If discrepancies in sexual desire cause significant distress, it might be beneficial to seek professional support from a qualified therapist. Therapists can help couples explore underlying issues and develop strategies to bridge the desire gap.

      5. Individual Activities

      Engaging in self-pleasure or solo activities can help the higher-desire partner manage their needs without pressuring the lower-desire partner. This approach allows for sexual expression while respecting the other partner’s boundaries.

        Conclusion

        Sexual desire discrepancies and learning how to navigate them are a natural part of many relationships. The key lies in approaching the issue as a team by fostering empathy, staying curious about each other’s needs, and prioritising both emotional and physical intimacy. By embracing open dialogue, seeking compromise, and supporting one another, couples can transform mismatched libidos from a source of conflict into an opportunity for deeper connection and understanding.

        If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue, you can reach out here.

        Pamela Borg is a counsellor who enjoys working therapeutically with adults experiencing various issues. These include general mental health and well-being, gender, sexuality, and relationship issues. 

        References:

        Mark, K. P., & Jozkowski, K. N. (2013). The mediating role of sexual and nonsexual communication between relationship and sexual satisfaction in a sample of college-age heterosexual couples. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 39(5), 410–427. Retrieved from https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7058563/

        Ryan, C. (2021). How differences in sexual desire affect marriage. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-apes/202105/how-differences-in-sexual-desire-affect-marriage

        Sexual Being. (2020). How to handle when your libidos don’t match. Retrieved from https://sexualbeing.org/blog/how-to-handle-when-your-libidos-dont-match/

        Photo by Sinitta Leunen on Unsplash

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