Relationship initiation is largely influenced by one’s perception of their own romantic desirability or romantic confidence. A person’s displays of confidence can be perceived as appealing when attracting a potential partner because they can be a sign of significant desirable qualities, like intelligence or success. People are more likely to take proactive actions to pursue potential partners when they have greater confidence in their own desirability. 

Additionally, research has also revealed a negative relationship between romantic confidence and social anxiety. People are less likely to experience feelings of loneliness, isolation, or inadequacy, which can contribute to mental health issues when they feel more confident and secure in their romantic relationships. It is important to approach this journey healthily and genuinely. The suggestions that follow can help you increase your romantic confidence in a way in a manner that aligns with your true self:

1) Self-Reflection

Invest some time in learning about your strengths, values, and what you can bring to a relationship. Realize that each person has qualities that set them apart and make them desirable and deserving of love. More fulfilling connections can result from embracing your individuality and being open about your desires and boundaries.

2) Set Realistic Expectations

It is important to have compassion for oneself. It is acceptable that not every interaction will result in a compatible match. Accepting that rejection is an inevitable part of the dating process enables people to recover more quickly and keep a positive view of their own worth.

3) Communication Skills

Effective communication is essential for expressing one’s feelings, needs, and desires. The ability to communicate openly and actively with potential partners helps to foster a feeling of security and understanding within a relationship. Find your authentic way to express your feelings, needs, desires, as well as boundaries.

4) Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation

Learning how to regulate your emotions and letting go of unhelpful negative thoughts can help you approach initiating relationships with security and assurance.

5) Seek Supportive Relationships

Being surrounded by people who support your individual growth and healthy relationship behaviours can boost your romantic confidence. Positive influences can support safe patterns and encourage better relationship decisions.

6) Learn from Past Relationships

Examining previous romantic encounters can help you spot trends and potential areas for growth. By applying the knowledge gained from prior relationships, one can become more self-aware and make better choices when initiating new relationships.

In the end, developing romantic confidence is a process of personal growth. A healthy sense of self-worth and an open, positive outlook on potential relationships are both derived from embracing one’s uniqueness, setting reasonable expectations, and honing effective communication skills.

Everybody has a different journey, so it is important to be kind and patient with yourself as you go. Always keep in mind that developing romantic confidence is a process, so it’s acceptable to take your time. The objective is to develop a healthy sense of self-worth and an accepting mindset toward potential relationships. One can increase their chances of finding fulfilling romantic relationships by concentrating on personal development and maintaining a safe dating strategy.

If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.

Seray Soyman is working as a Clinical Psychosexologist within the Willingness team, providing psychosexual education and sexual support sessions, as well as delivering training and workshops. She has a master’s degree in Clinical Psychosexology from the Sapienza University of Rome. Seray’s research interests are sexual communication, sex-positive behaviour, LGBTQIA+ studies, and sexual health.


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Levine, A., & Heller, R. (2010). Attached: the new science of adult attachment and how it can help you find and keep love. Penguin.

Özabacı, N., & Eryılmaz, A. (2015). The sources of self-esteem: Initating and maintaining romantic intimacy at emerging adulthood in Turkey. Journal of Human Sciences, 12(1), 179-191.