The Difference Between Narcissism and Confidence

While narcissism and confidence can sometimes appear similar on the surface, they are fundamentally different in terms of motivation, behaviour, and how they affect others. Nonetheless, they both may involve assertiveness, self-assurance, or a bold presence. Understanding these differences and similarities is essential, especially in relationships, workplaces, and leadership roles.

Confidence – What’s It All About

Confidence is a healthy and grounded sense of the self. Confident individuals believe in their abilities, are open to feedback, and are secure enough to admit mistakes or learn from their shortcomings. Their self-esteem is stable and not dependent on external validation. For example, a confident person might say, “I am proud of the work I did on this project, and I am open to suggestions on how it can improve.” They value collaboration and are usually encouraging toward others because they do not feel threatened by someone else’s success.

Narcissism – What’s It All About

In contrast, narcissism is marked by an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others or themselves. Narcissistic individuals often base their self-worth on how others perceive them. They may become defensive or dismissive when criticised, even constructively, because they view it as a personal attack. For example, if someone gives them feedback on a project, a narcissistic individual might respond, “You clearly do not understand what excellence looks like,” rather than even considering the input.

Distinguishing Narcissism From Confidence

One key difference lies in how each affects relationships. Confident people tend to foster trust and mutual respect. They listen, communicate effectively, and allow space for others to shine. Individuals with narcissistic traits, however, may dominate conversations, belittle others to feel superior, or manipulate people to maintain their self-image. While a confident leader uplifts their team, a narcissistic leader may take credit for others’ work and avoid accountability.

Distinguishing Narcissism From Confidence – Continued

Another distinction is in emotional resilience. Confident individuals can handle setbacks without falling apart—they know failure does not define them. Narcissists, on the other hand, may react to failure with anger, denial, or blame-shifting, as their self-esteem is fragile beneath the surface.

People Might Mistake Narcissism With Confidence, And Vice Versa

Appearance-wise, narcissism and confidence might involve charisma or assertiveness, making them hard to distinguish at first glance. However, over time, narcissism tends to leave others feeling drained, dismissed, or devalued, while confidence tends to inspire and attract trust.

Conclusion

In summary, confidence is secure and grounded in self-awareness, while narcissism is often a mask for insecurity. Recognising the difference helps form healthier relationships and choose effective, empathetic and understanding leaders.

If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue, you can reach out here.

Charlot Cauchi is a Gestalt Psychotherapist at Willingness. He has experience working with adult clients with mental health difficulties, anxiety and depression, loss and grief, traumatic experiences, stress and relational issues.

Reference

Jung, J., Rentzsch, K., & Schröder-Abé, M. (2024).The development and correlated change of narcissism and self-esteem in adulthood. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. https://doi.org/10.1177/08902070221134410