My husband and I have been married for over 30 years. For just a bit over a year, we have both been retired. We’re 65 years old, my husband sold our little family company, our children have left the house, and we now spend our days in each other’s company. We really enjoy our time together; we go for evening strolls, cook together and even go out on the weekends. However, lately, my husband has been expecting us to be physically intimate nearly every day. I cannot understand what’s happened. Maybe he’s just in denial of the fact that we’re getting older? Is there any pills he could take for this kind of behaviour? I personally don’t think that it is right for people our age to engage in sexual intercourse. Isn’t it dangerous?
From what I’ve read, it seems to me like the decline in life responsibilities has drew you and your husband closer together again. I like to think of the sixties as the second adolescent decade, only better. With fewer responsibilities and more money, your minds are at ease and you can simply focus on enjoying each other’s company.
Desiring to be physically intimate is nothing to be ashamed of, and it is actually pretty normal. Sex is not dependent on age, and as long as you are both healthy and want to, I see no reason why you should stay back from enjoying this aspect of your love as well. From what you disclosed, it seems like you both enjoy spending time together, and so it is normal that when two people feel close to each other, they would also want to embrace this closeness through the physical act of sex.
I feel that your concern is actually a positive expression of the love that exists between you and your husband. A lot of couples find retirement as a challenging period, often complaining that they have nothing left to do now that they’re done with work and their children are settled in their own respective lives. I therefore wish to congratulate you and your husband for using this period of your lives as an opportunity to rekindle your relationship and appreciating the quality time you have available at your disposal to enjoy together. Ageing is by no means a limitation, but rather should be celebrated by embracing your relationship in every means possible.
Rest assured that as able as you are to go out and go for strolls, so you are able to be physically intimate with your husband. As to your concern on it being harmful, you can put your mind at ease that increased sexual activity is in fact beneficial and healthy. I wish you and your husband a happy retirement filled with love, adventure, and happiness, for many years to come.
Matthew Bartolo is a counsellor specialising in Sex & Relationships. He offers counselling to both individuals and couples, and runs the sex education services within Willingness. He can be contacted on matthew@willingness.com.mt or call us on 79291817.