Most of the problems which couples encounter can easily be solved through open communication.  Then why is it so difficult to communicate with one’s partner?  Perhaps one’s busy life takes over and does not permit time to communicate.  It could also be that, especially in long relationships, one thinks they have had the same conversation already or feel that they know what their partner thinks.  Whatever the reason, keep in mind that, if you want your relationship to work, communication is of great importance.

Communication is important because it allows one to express their feelings, helps clear up doubts and misunderstandings and can resolve conflict and problems.

Furthermore, an important aspect to communication is not merely how much one communicates, but how one communicates.  For instance, there is a great difference between yelling or accusing one’s partner and sitting down and discussing the matter in a calm, gentle, non-accusing manner.

There are different things which one can do to improve communication with one’s partner.  One of the first steps towards doing so is to be open and honest about one’s feelings.  Another important thing to do is to stop and listen.  Many individuals tend to focus on what they want to say in order to win an argument.  While it is important to get the message across, it is also important to keep in mind that, similarly to how you want your message to be heard, the same goes for your partner.  This leads to another, final point, which is to find a balance between listening and talking.

In conclusion, communicating is the simplest and most effective way of keeping a relationship healthy as it helps one know where they stand with their partner, resulting in feelings of greater security and stability.


– Matthew Bartolo is a counsellor specialising in Sex & Relationships.  He offers counselling to both individuals and couples, and runs the sex education services within Willingness.  He can be contacted on