At the onset of a serious relationship, when couples start envisioning a future together, they often spend long periods of time discussing their beliefs, wishes and desires out of life to assess their long-term compatibility.
The issue of boundaries within a relationship should be chief amongst the topics of discussion. Defining the boundaries, what is acceptable and what is not, could be a defining factor in how successful the relationship is.
Establishing boundaries could also help avoid unnecessary and undesirable hurt and devastation. It is important to note that cheating means different things to different people. While a person in your past might have been completely unaffected by something, your new partner could consider it a major betrayal. The restrictions are not the same for all. Consequently, some overstep those boundaries without knowing that there are such boundaries in the first place.
Knowing what’s taking it a step too far is especially useful with the advent of social media and all the easily available dating apps. Apps like Tinder, Badoo, and even Facebook could open a whole new window of temptation for those with a wandering eye. Is liking a picture of an ex taking it too far? What about a couple of friendly messages catching up with an ex?
Although discussing such intense topics might not be the ideal start to a relationship, dealing with it upfront could avoid potential wreckage in the long run, and also help facilitate the reconciliation process if there was ever an incidence of betrayal within the union.
– Matthew Bartolo is a counsellor specialising in Sex & Relationships. He offers counselling to both individuals and couples, and runs the sex education services within Willingness. He can be contacted on matthew@willingness.com.mt.