Discover evidence-based tips for couples to maintain a strong connection amidst the joys and challenges of parenthood. From prioritizing quality time to effective communication, learn how intentional efforts can help navigate love after kids and foster a lasting, evolving relationship.


Embarking on the transformative journey of parenthood brings immense joy and challenges for couples. Amidst the diapers and sleepless nights, sustaining a strong connection becomes a priority. Explore evidence-based strategies and tips for maintaining a thriving relationship after the arrival of children.

Prioritize Quality Time Together

In the midst of parenting demands, carving out quality time becomes paramount for couples (Cowan & Cowan, 2000). Discover the importance of date nights, whether at home or out, providing a crucial opportunity for partners to focus on each other without the distractions of parenting.

Effective Communication is Key

Foundational in navigating parenthood challenges is open and honest communication (Markman, Stanley, & Blumberg, 2010). Learn the significance of regular discussions about feelings, concerns, and expectations, creating an environment where both partners feel heard and understood.

Divide and Conquer Parenting Duties

Sharing parenting responsibilities is essential for a strong partnership (Belsky, 1984). Explore the benefits of establishing clear roles and responsibilities to ensure both partners contribute to childcare duties and household tasks, fostering a sense of teamwork.

Maintain Intimacy

While physical intimacy may experience shifts, finding moments to reconnect romantically is crucial (Braithwaite, Olson-Sigg, & Dinger, 2017). Learn about scheduling intimate moments, expressing affection, and nurturing emotional intimacy to contribute to a lasting connection.

Support Each Other’s Individual Goals

Encouraging each other to pursue individual goals is vital for personal fulfillment and relationship success (Braithwaite et al., 2017). Discover how supporting aspirations outside of the parental role contributes positively to the relationship.

Seek Help When Needed

Acknowledging the challenges of parenting and seeking help when needed is a sign of strength (Cowan & Cowan, 2000). Explore options such as couples counseling, parenting classes, and support from friends and family to navigate the complexities of parenthood.

Celebrate Milestones, Big and Small

Celebrating relationship milestones is equally important as acknowledging child milestones (Belsky, 1984). Recognize the significance of commemorating anniversaries or overcoming challenges together, fostering a sense of accomplishment and strengthening the bond between partners.

Navigating love after kids requires intentional effort and a commitment to prioritizing the relationship. Invest time and energy into maintaining a strong connection, allowing couples to not only weather the challenges of parenthood but also thrive in a relationship that continues to evolve. Love after kids is about adapting, communicating, and finding joy in shared experiences while keeping the flame of the relationship burning brightly.

If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.

Abigail Church is a Humanistic Integrative Counsellor who works with adults and children through counselling with Willingness. She can be contacted at abigail@willingness.com.mt or call us at 79291817.

References:

  1. Belsky, J. (1984). The determinants of parenting: A process model. Child Development, 55(1), 83–96.
  2. Braithwaite, S. R., Olson-Sigg, A., & Dinger, J. (2017). The role of communication in predicting relationship satisfaction and stability: Using evidence-based relationship education to improve relationship outcomes. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice, 6(1), 1–12.
  3. Cowan, P. A., & Cowan, C. P. (2000). When partners become parents: The big life change for couples. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
  4. Markman, H. J., Stanley, S. M., & Blumberg, S. L. (2010). Fighting for your marriage: Positive steps for preventing divorce and preserving a lasting love. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.