Have you ever noticed the conversations you have with yourself? That little voice inside your head: is it a gentle and nurturing one, or is it a judgmental and critical voice that allows no room for mistakes?
The way we talk to ourselves is one of the many ways we can apply self-compassion in our daily lives. Self-compassion, the ability to respond to ourselves with care and kindness during stressful or challenging times, may not come naturally to everyone, especially those who grew up in strict and critical environments. Fortunately, there are ways to cultivate this trait. This blog will explore self-compassion and how we can practice it in our everyday lives.
Accessing Self-Compassion
The first step in accessing our self-compassion is to be mindful of when we are suffering or under duress. If we are already in pain from something we are going through, treating ourselves with warmth and patience can be a helpful and supportive way to nurture ourselves and accept our flaws. Practicing mindfulness, such as by meditating for a few minutes per day, is an excellent way to heighten our self-awareness.
Developing Self-Compassion
To further develop our self-compassion, we need to discover how we already care for ourselves. There are various aspects of ourselves and our health that we need to tend to, not just our physical wellbeing. We also need to be mindful of how we take care of our mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual health.
Physical Health
Several things can be done to apply self-compassion towards our bodies and release any built-up stress or tension. We can do this by caring for our bodies through exercise, getting a massage, or enjoying a nice cup of tea.
Mental Health
Taking care of our mental health involves finding ways to reduce agitation. This can involve finding strategies to deal with negative thoughts and caring for your mind when you are under stress, such as reading a good book or watching a funny movie.
Emotional Health
Being able to soothe and comfort ourselves when we are feeling dysregulated is vital for improving self-compassion. Some examples of doing this include writing a letter to yourself to nurture your feelings, cooking, or taking care of your pet.
Relational Health
Connecting with others is an important aspect of self-care. Fostering connections that nurture us and make us feel revived is another great way to practice self-compassion. This can include spending time with loved ones, sending a message to a friend, or playing multiplayer online games.
Spiritual Health
This aspect of ourselves is often the one that we neglect the most. However, our spiritual health is important as it helps us to stay committed to our values. We can take care of ourselves spiritually by praying, spending time in nature, or doing a good deed to help others.
Benefits of Practicing Self-Compassion
Practicing self-compassion has several benefits, such as improved health, enriched relationships, and a better ability to lower one’s own feelings of anxiety and depression. There are many ways in which we can practice self-compassion, as outlined above. Finding techniques that suit you is important for being able to support and nourish your own self in a way that feels right for you. Becoming aware of our own mental processes can be challenging at first; however, if practiced consistently, it can become a learned skill and a part of your everyday routine. Treat yourself the way you would treat a friend, forgive yourself, and accept that you are a human being who is allowed to make mistakes and grow from them.
If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.
Pamela Borg is a counsellor who enjoys working therapeutically with adults experiencing various issues. These include general mental health and wellbeing, gender, sexuality, relationship issues.
References:
Germer, C (2020). Self-compassion in Daily Life. Retrieved from: https://chrisgermer.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Self-Compassion-in-Daily-Life.pdf
Harvard Health Publishing (2021). 4 ways to boost your self-compassion. Retrieved from: https://www.health.harvard.edu/mental-health/4-ways-to-boost-your-self-compassion
Moore, C. (2019). How to Practice Self-Compassion: 8 Techniques and Tips. Retrieved from: https://positivepsychology.com/how-to-practice-self-compassion/