Sexual libido, or sex drive, refers to a person’s desire for sexual activity. This stems from the basic biological need to reproduce. It is a normal feeling experienced by anyone and it lies on a spectrum, ranging from no sexual desire to frequent sexual activity. In fact, a ‘normal’ definition of sex drive doesn’t exist as what looks high in the eyes of one person may look normal in the eyes of another. Irrespective of the intensity of one’s sex drive, interest in it is very common.
As such, high sex drives do not equate to a problem, unless the person is excessively preoccupied by it. In cases where social life, work, relationships, and mental health are at risk, the person might wish to lower their sex drive. Sex drive depends on several factors including the following:
Changes in hormone levels
The sex hormones estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone levels can vary not only during your lifetime, but even within the course of a day. In women, high estrogen levels around ovulation cause an increase in sex drive. In the case of men, higher testosterone levels have been linked to higher libido.
Puberty/aging
Younger people tend to have a higher sex drive than older people. For instance, during adolescence, boys tend to be very sexually aroused because their testosterone production increases ten times.
Exercise
An increase in physical activity or weight loss are also linked to higher libido.
Mental health status, energy levels, social interactions, medication, and alcohol, or drug use are other factors that affect a person’s sex drive. Being unable to control yourself from seeking sexual activity may give rise to compulsive sexual behavior. Compulsive sexual behavior is characterized by the inability to control intense, repetitive sexual impulses/behavior. Differences in libido levels of sexual partners are very likely to cause friction in their relationship, but it doesn’t always mean that they are not compatible.
In the case that your sex drive is affecting your life in a very negative way, the following strategies can be very helpful:
- With the help of a therapist, you can explore your thoughts, feelings, and desires around sex.
- The more you engage in sexual activities, the more it is likely that you perpetuate the need for more sex. Therefore, you can try refraining from acting on every sexual impulse. Distracting the mind by engaging on physical exercise help you channel this energy elsewhere.
- Not all intimate gestures by your partner are an invitation to have sex. Sometimes, you can show that you care by going on a date or giving each other a massage.
- In case that all the above strategies do not work, you can also talk to a doctor and consider certain medications that lower your libido.
If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.
Johanna Cutajar is a Master in Counselling graduate from the University of Malta. She works with children and adolescents as a counsellor within the education sector on a variety of issues including relationship issues, trauma, bereavement, transitions, and general mental health.
References
Brito, J. (2020). Why is my sex drive so high? Retrieved from https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/why-am-i-so-horny
Fielding, S. (2021). 6 reasons why you might have a high sex drive, or increased libido. Retrieved from https://www.insider.com/high-sex-drive