The typical representation of a ‘manly man’ is one that has a high sex drive and is basically horny all the time. In reality, some men have low sex drives and can go a significant amount of time without thinking about sex. This is not commonly talked about and men with low sex drives can be met with shock or amazement from others when they talk about how often they want to have sex. 

Low Interest in Sex

Having a low sex drive does not make you less of a man, just like a low sex drive in females doesn’t make them less of a woman. However somehow, it is more widely accepted that women present with less interest in sex, and when it is the man in the relationship that is not highly interested in sex, it is automatically seen as a serious problem. 

Sex and Relationships

When in a relationship it is really important to openly communicate and discuss any issues that you have if your sex drive levels are mismatched. Sometimes we are too quick to label sex drives as either high or low, in comparison to the people we are dating or how our friends think about sex. Challenging this belief and understanding whether your low sex drive is actually your normal, or whether there is an underlying health issue, is key.  

Level of sex drive varies from one person to another anyway, so it is usually considered a problem if it starts to interfere with your mental health, or cause relationship issues. This will probably also depend on how long it lasts, as it is normal to pass through phases when your sex drive is low, and then it goes back up after some time. 

Balancing Libido Levels

If your libido level is something that you want to work on, there are some things you can look in to. Low testosterone levels are the most common causes of a low sex drive, so you can get your testosterone levels checked out by a medical professional. Underlying psychological issues such as stress or depression can also be contributing to your low sex drive, for which you can reach out to a Mental Health Professional.

Something as simple as a side effect from a medication you are taking can also be affecting your sex drive. These are all factors to consider and things you can discuss with your medical professional if you wish to work on increasing your sex drive. You may also be given some tips on how to alter your lifestyle a little bit to increase the probability of a higher sex drive.

If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.

Lisa Laspina is a Trainee Gestalt Psychotherapist who is currently working with Willingness. She is reading for a Masters in Gestalt Psychotherapy.