Premature ejaculation is a common sexual problem that can affect people of all ages. It is when ejaculation happens sooner than desired, either before or shortly after penetration and/or stimulation which can be a lifelong problem (i.e., since the beginning of one’s sexual life), or it can occur only in certain situations. It can cause significant stress and anxiety and can have a negative impact on self-esteem as well as relationships by causing sexual dissatisfaction for both partners.
What Causes It?
There are many possible causes of premature ejaculation.These include, but not limited to, performance anxiety, stress, penile hypersensitivity, and hormonal problems. Treatment for premature ejaculation usually depends on the cause if the cause is detectable. If the cause is unknown or psychological, sex therapy, couples counselling, or individual therapy may help. If the cause is physical, use of certain medications (e.g., selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor dapoxetine), or surgery might be needed. There are also some behavioural techniques that one can start using to cope with premature ejaculation:
- The start-and-stop method
This method is a widely used technique to cope with premature ejaculation. It involves stopping sexual activity just before you reach the point of ejaculation and then waiting for a few seconds before starting again. You can do this as many times as you need in order to delay ejaculation.
2.The squeeze technique
This technique is also known as the squeeze and pause technique, and it involves squeezing the penis just below the head when you feel like you are about to ejaculate. You should hold the squeeze for around 10 seconds before releasing it. Repeat this process as many times as you need in order to delay ejaculation.
3. The Kegel exercises
Kegel exercises are a great way to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. These muscles play a key role in controlling ejaculation. To do Kegel exercises, you need to tighten the muscles that you use to stop the flow of urine. Hold the muscles for about 10 seconds before releasing them. Repeat this process 10-15 times, three sets a day and remember, practice makes perfect.
Additionally, there are also some lifestyle changes that can have a positive impact on ejaculatory latency time.
Drug and alcohol abuse can lead to problems with premature ejaculation. Therefore, avoiding excessive use of alcohol and/or drugs might be helpful when coping with this issue. Furthermore, exercising regularly can help improve your overall health and help reduce your risk of developing premature ejaculation. Lastly, practising relaxation techniques can help you learn to control your body and your sexual response.
Premature ejaculation can negatively affect overall well-being, overall life satisfaction, as well as mental health-related quality of life. Therefore, if it is left untreated, it could have adverse effects on a person’s life. If premature ejaculation is causing anxiety or avoidance of sexual intimacy, it is best to seek help from a professional. Talk to your GU specialist or consult with a sex therapist to learn how to control your ejaculation and improve your sexual satisfaction.
If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.
Seray Soyman is working as a Trainee Psychosexologist within the Willingness team, providing psychosexual education and sexual support sessions, as well as delivering training and workshops. She is also pursuing her master’s in Clinical Psychosociology at Sapienza University, Rome. Seray’s research interests are sex-positive behaviour, sexual habits, LGBTQIA+ studies, and sexual communication.
References
Gillman, N., & Gillman, M. (2019). Premature ejaculation: aetiology and treatment strategies. Medical Sciences, 7(11), 102.
Giuliano, F. (2007). Premature ejaculation: definition and drug treatment. Drugs, 67(11), 1629-1631.
Kaplan, H. S. (1989). How to overcome premature ejaculation. Routledge.
Ren, P. (2007). Coping with premature ejaculation: How to overcome PE, please your partner & have great sex. New Harbinger Publications.
Rowland, D. L., Patrick, D. L., Rothman, M., & Gagnon, D. D. (2007). The psychological burden of premature ejaculation. The Journal of urology, 177(3), 1065-1070.