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In Part 1 of my blog I spoke a bit about the process of coming out as bisexual, throughout this part of the blog I will be focusing on how one can deal with this transition. There are diverse ways in which one can approach a situation like this, even though they might not come to mind that easily.

Approaches you could take in this situation include:

  • It is important to consider the reasons why you are together; the foundation of your relationship does not just depend on sexual activity. Being sexually attracted to your partner is important but being bisexual might not even affect this attraction and going over aspects you both love in your relationship can help strengthen it.
  • Be aware of your perspectives on sexual orientation and relationships before you attempt to make any decisions which will affect the relationship.
  • Be careful not to let this issue infiltrate every other unrelated argument; it makes sense that if you have not accepted something, it keeps resurfacing with every argument.
  • Consider couple therapy; sometimes you might think that what you are feeling and thinking about a situation is obvious and natural but having someone who is viewing your situation from the outside and who is deeply analytic of your dynamic can easily increase recognition of flaws in reasoning.
  • Reflect on your behaviour towards your partner as it could be the case that you enter a state of denial where you do not accept this news and will start behaving differently towards your partner.
  • If you have children, be extremely aware of how you are communicating this change in their presence. Children might sense, for example, hints of hostility and might replicate this attitude without understanding why and what is going on.
  • Consult with experts in this area as well as other people who have experienced the same thing – it could be the case that you have a mistaken idea of being bisexual so having a clearer picture might help you deal with it better.

Sexual attraction and intimacy are important in a relationship so it is imperative that the couple does not dismiss this new element in their relationship. Remember, communication and empathy are key!

References

Julia, M. (2018). How do I deal with my husband being a bisexual? Retrieved 31 July 2019, from https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-deal-with-my-husband-being-a-bisexual

Prior, E. (2019). How to deal with your feelings when you find out that your partner or spouse is bisexual. Retrieved from https://www.professional-counselling.com/my-wife-husband-is-bisexual.html Reid, K. My Husband Told Me He’s Bisexual… After We Got Married. Retrieved from https://www.bolde.com/husband-told-hes-bisexualafter-got-married/

Luanne Grima is a psychology student who works as a childminder with Willingness. She also forms part of Betapsi.