If you’ve ever had to face any form of rejection (which you probably have), then you’d know that it is often unpleasant and many times quite hurtful. Whether it’s being cast out by a group of friends, getting rejected for a job opportunity, or getting turned down by a date, we’ve all been there, and we know how it leaves us feeling. Rejection is often so painful because it is the exact opposite of what we all seek in our lives – to be accepted. But what if I told you that rejection can be a good thing?
What if we learn to see rejection as a redirection? This article will discuss rejection and how we can use it as a means for our own personal growth by changing the perspective through which we look at it.
Going through rejection is much like experiencing a loss.
Perhaps you were hoping to get that dream job or to finally be able to go on a date with your crush. Because rejection can feel so much like a loss, it will require us to come to terms with what we have experienced. Therefore, it is only natural that when going through rejection, we are bound to experience feelings like shock, denial, anger, sadness, or frustration. Over time, this is likely to settle as we begin to understand and accept what happened and eventually move forward with our lives and set new goals. It is important to allow ourselves some time to grieve this rejection and to experience the emotions that may come with it.
It might be challenging to get over rejection because we, as humans, often tend to dwell on difficult experiences that we go through.
However, wallowing in frustration and disappointment is likely to have us feeling stuck or helpless. You might blame or criticize yourself for being rejected, pointing out all of your flaws or weaknesses. You might take this rejection as confirmation that you are not good enough or that you are unworthy of that particular opportunity. A key aspect of helping us grow from rejection is to reframe the whole experience. The fact that you were rejected does not necessarily mean that there is anything wrong with or lacking in you. Learning not to take rejection personally can be challenging but it is essential to gain a different perspective on rejection.
Take some time to reflect
After getting rejected, it is important to reflect on your experience and recollect your thoughts before moving on to your next goal. Try to identify any lessons that you might have learned from this experience, as well as take notes of anything that you might want to do differently next time round. By doing so, you can become more resilient in the face of rejection and learn that this is part and parcel of all our lives. Recognizing the growth that can come out of rejection can support you in evaluating what is working for you, what isn’t, and what you might need to change to achieve your goals in the future.
If you think that you can benefit from professional support on this issue you can reach out here.
Pamela Borg is a counsellor who enjoys working therapeutically with adults experiencing various issues. These include general mental health and well-being, gender, sexuality, and relationship issues.
References:
Cowen, A. (n.d.). Turning Rejection into a Step in Personal Growth. Retrieved from: https://www.successconsciousness.com/blog/personal-development/rejection-step-in-personal-growth/
Milliard, C. (n.d.). How to Take Rejection, And Grow Stronger Because of it. Retrieved from: https://www.heysuccess.com/blog/view/how-to-take-rejection-and-grow-stronger-because-of-it
Peralta, D. (2020). 4 Ways Rejection Helps You Grow And Makes You Stronger. Retrieved from: https://medium.com/live-your-life-on-purpose/4-ways-rejection-helps-you-grow-and-makes-you-stronger-d29cbaf4903d
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